What are you thinking?

Ugh, yeah, it really can be. Two (?) weeks and you'll be out of there.

 

Thankfully just the one week. I suspect people will be awkward around me after seeing me breakdown. Chances are they'll act like it didn't happen so things are less awkward.

I don't quite know how I am going to respond to any questions from coworkers. Still. Just one week. Then I'm free. I just hope I can buck up and not let things spiral. That I will find a new job and things will go smoother.

 

Update: I got sent home. Apparently my request to take garden leave was accepted.

 

What is "garden leave"? I'm trying to picture this odd event in my head. Like they grant time off of work so people can go tend an out of control vegetable garden. And wouldn't any employer give you some advance notice that a leave of any type was granted so you can actually make plans? Unless garden leave is the same as sick leave, which I expect you just go home and be sick.

 

Congratulations. That a hard one! Wish you the best!

 

Go for it!

 

Patience and kindness go a long way…

 

I am mindfull of the fact that sometimes I am my worst enemy

 

OMG! Me to….

 

Some employment contracts allow for garden leave. This is typically given when a senior employee who may otherwise be difficult is leaving the company. It means that you do not work your notice, but it is treated the same. I didn't have time to acquire a doctor's note, so I didn't go the sick route. Plus I felt awkward asking for my holiday days to be used to cover my notice. So I figured I'd try my luck by putting in a request for garden leave. A young person like myself asking for it is unusual, but in fairness it was my first time handling such a situation.

Typically, yes, a proper workplace would give due notice. However, I wasn't working in a proper workplace. My boss was quite incompetent.

 

I think I moved to the wrong town.

 

I’m thinking it’s understandable when someone is a teenager to have them sleep on a mattress on the floor when they come to visit. When someone is over 30 that same arrangement ( and what I think might be the same mattress) is no longer acceptable. The mattress is hard as a rock, the pillow is so thin it’s non existent and I’m too old for this.

 

Haven't been able to find my walking shoes (that I typically leave right outside the door to air out) for about a week or so.

After talking to my neighbour, several neighbours have had stuff stolen recently. I truly hope they needed them, cause who steals used shoes?

 

Either I'm having an off-night, or Neverwinter is a lot harder recently. I'm very nearly getting one-shot by trash mobs in content that hasn't been hard to me since 2021 and enemies seem to be requiring a lot more effort to take down.

 

I wish things would calm down around my town. It has been off the hook here recently.

 

I get lonely sometimes because the only person I have to talk to is my mother. And my dog. If I died today the only people at my funeral would be my family because I have no friends. I won’t care then but I do now. Hopefully in the future if my mothers plan to move us to a city works out I can meet people and not accidentally offend them. I’m not looking forward to my future where my disability continues to get worse (I’ve seen the future in my older relatives and it doesn’t look good) and I die alone.

 

I like to read what I can about psychology and mental health. Part of the job of a therapist is also to teach their clients concepts to help them understand what's going on. Sometimes I have asked questions and gotten good answers that I can work with. At other times the therapists didn't seem interested in explaining things.

More articles and research into narcissism are making people more aware of it. Since Narcissus was a figure who liked looking at his reflection in the pond and fell in to drown, I assumed narcissists and vanity were sort of the same thing.

It looks like narcissists are more apt to need glorification and be vain. But the vain person may not come packaged with that destructive bent toward others. Vanity can make a person unhappy and become self absorbed. There are vain people who are mostly nice and don't need to attack others.

 

I'm having a bad week and all my energy is being spent on just getting by. Could barely get out of bed for work this week and my car and house are a mess. I need to start my medication and commit to it this time because things are just not working out

 

I am thinking about the fact my psychologist is leaving the mental health team in my area and tomorrow is our last session. I will be put on the waiting list for a new one but it might be a while due to limited resources on the NHS in my area. On the plus side the new medication I started for low mood and body dysmorphic disorder has really helped improve my mood greatly which has made dealing with BPD easier. It has had no effect on the BDD as of yet but that takes longer. Also it’s HSD/EDS awareness month next month!! I am currently diagnosed with Hypermobility Spectrum Disorder but am being re-assessed for hEDS (hypermobile ehlers-danlos syndrome). I am also happy because my girlfriend has moved in now and we are looking for a flat so things are starting to look up!