Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Mirko, Feb 28, 2017.
You never believed in me.
Okay, so I may or may not be suicidal, or some sort, but it's not like I'd even actually kill myself, right? Like, damn I sure would like to not exist but...well, if I didn't know people cared about me, I'd probably be gone.
I'm sorry to hear that and I know what you mean - I've experienced similar thoughts in my past depressed episodes. Make sure to take care of yourself and reach out to others if it helps.
Sometimes I just feel uncomfortable and as if I'm not myself for no apparent reason. I've felt like this on and off for years and I've tried to push the thought aside but that just makes it worse. So, I am finally going to confront this feeling and journal whenever it occurs to see if there's a pattern.
Could England pick a more inconvenient time to tighten restrictions? My sister probably won’t be able to come home, it’s going to cost a fortune to send her gifts to her and I can’t send the alcohol so I’m stuck with a bottle of pink gin and I don’t drink. I got most of the her gifts online from Amazon and it all gets sent her from England and now I have to send it back to that country.
I can't understand why the world is the way it is.
I just found out that my favourite brands of crisps is one of the most fattening. I plan on making a new year’s resolution to lose weight so I might as well enjoy them while I can.
Another year that's gone by.
Another eternity that's passed.
I wish I didn't love you.
If only I knew.
I should probably go to sleep although I have absolutely nothing to do tomorrow.
What have I done?
With the UK's new tier 4 restrictions, I am desperately trying to cling onto the good.
My family actually managed to reunite for Christmas. My parents live in a massive house where there is space and we are comfortable. As far as things go, I am not the worst off from these circumstances.
But I still feel so livid. I feel robbed of many things this year, and even though I still have a lot, and even though I'm not suffering nearly as badly as some, I am finding this so damn hard.
I wake up in the morning feeling as if I have no purpose, like I've made no progress this year, like so many opportunities have been missed.
I'm trying to find the silver linings, I really am.
I am extremely sick of all this (regular pay) overtime, and all the "sick days/emergencies" my coworkers are having. The count down until my 3 day weekend is onnn.
Today I watched 6 year old me make a clay sculpture of Red from Angry Birds Space.
Now? Who am I now? What would me then think about me right now?
Probably that it's weird. I'm a whole new person, unrecognizable, hell, I've figured out I'm not the gender I was shoved into back then.
There are years of built up tears behind these eyes.
I'm starting to see a problem...
And what will I do?
I'll treat it like all of my other problems.
I'll laugh, and pretend it doesn't exist.
My neck is sore.
Things are quite confusing, sad, and scary.
I'll do what I can.
While hiding it.
And if I can't?
I sure hope there's something after the end.
Why did they write all Christmas carols for people with a higher-pitched voice?