Sometimes it feels like I'm not meant to come out. I was about to come out to a few of my friends a few weeks ago, and just before I said a sly comment, the friend I'm closest to said something homophobic and everyone laughed and agreed. A lot of people I'm close to are homophobic. I don't know how I got here. In line at McDonalds I was telling my boyfriend a self-deprecating gay joke, and then the people behind us started talking about faggots. On the train, the people beside me were trying to decide how gay someone should be allowed to be. The city I live in is no stranger to gay hate crimes. When I was in highschool, the only thing that got me through was knowing some day I'd get out of my small town and people would be more accepting. Now that I've been out of highschool for years, and live in a big city, nothing feels different. I'm still scared as shit. Gay Marriage has been legal for soooo long in Canada. what the fuck.