What are you thinking?

If I had a penny, just a penny, for every time I've wanted to tell the town I'm in to go screw itself, id be the richest individual on this side of the galaxy.

 

I can't seem to accept things the way they are, whatever it may be.

 

I'm so happy to have a couple of days off of work. Things have been really crazy lately. It does not help the flu is floating around. I'm so happy I decided to get my flu shot.

 

Is it me, or are they rebooting freaking everything, anymore? All I ever see is reboots. Hardly any original content. Now they're rebooting Space Jam; a movie that worked well in the 90s, but has the makings, in my opinion, of being a dumpster fire in the late 2010s. People just need to leave shit alone, because more often than not, the reboots are shit and pale in comparison to the original.

On a semi-related note, Space Jam has to be the 90-est movie I've ever seen. You watch that movie for half an hour and you just know it was made in the 90s. Face it, Lebron, you're not a legend like Michael Jordan, and rebooting a movie he made two decades ago will not make you as great as him, either.

 

A Headache mowing around too random and Nose too runny to sleep
is so much fun. Why am I even writing this crap, overtired?
Somebody even care?...

 

Only in Michigan can we have thunderstorms while we're under a Blizzard Warning. This state's freaking weird.

 

You know you're "old" when the kids at work are super annoying to you lol

 

Kids were annoying to me even when I was a kid

 

Same.

 

Maybe I ought to try having a boyfriend or a girlfriend. I’m majoring in biology, which isn't the best choice if you want to have a life outside of academics.

 

When a TV show or game hits too close to home, and you consider giving up on it because it is uncomfortable, but at this point you're too invested. :/

 

It's very possible to have a life outside of academics with a major like that. I'm a biochemistry major currently also studying for the MCAT and have time for socializing, volunteering, partying etc. every week. It all comes down to time management mainly - set up uninterrupted blocks of time for school every day, and when the block of time ends, stop studying and do something else. The trap is when you let yourself fill every second of your day with studying, which just causes you to drag out the studying to fill up all the time. Forcing yourself to have limited school related time makes you more efficient while you study and you end up learning the same amount of stuff in a shorter time period, because you have to.

 

Ugh. I have to go to the dentist tomorrow because I think I have a wisdom tooth impacted. One whole side of my face is swollen.. fun times.

 

I feel like dropping out. Either that or changing courses. I'm starting to wonder if I'm cut out for this University stuff. My course is a mess, I somehow seem to understand less, and I feel agitated. Not sure what I'd change to though, I think they're probably all equally frustrating. There's no organisation, I don't know what people expect of me anymore and I just WANT. TO. SCREAM. *exhales*

 

The past few months have been some of the harder times in our lives.

Phillip was in a car accident in April of 2018 and his disc got herniated bad. He started having sciatic pain which is some of the worst pain ever. There were days were he would just lay on the floor crying in pain for hours. Some days opioids wouldn't touch the pain and we wouldn't increase the dosage for fear of addiction. All I could do was just try not to cry and rub his back. This lasted for 8 months. 8 months of pain, crying and figuring out how to survive It was excruciating and exhausting process.

Lucky for us, the problem has a solution and we found a surgeon who we were able to trust with his health. Last week we had spine surgery called a microdisectomy on his disc in order to alleviate the pinching of the sciatic nerve. The good news is that its one of the most commonly done back surgeries in the world and the technology has advanced tremendously. Bad news is that its still spine surgery and shit is fucking scary.

We are home now and taking care of his health. Surgery went amazing, his recovery is going well and it seems like we were lucky to have no complications. Now the hard part is that he has to avoid bending/lifting/ twisting for the next year. Yeah, fucking ridiculous. Try to not twist.. Its insane. BUT if we do it correctly he might be 95% pain free for the rest of his life (or at least a very large portion).

2 things that I wanted to vent about that I can't anywhere else:
1) My anxiety was kicking in hard through this whole thing. I was nervous about the many different doctors and nurses that we had to trust and not knowing if they were homophobic or not. It fucking sucked. I have no idea how this must have been even just 50 years ago when people were less accepting and much more open about their hate. Would we have gotten the best neurosurgeon to do the surgery? It pisses me off that we still live in a world that some people are okay with doctors being against taking care of our trans community. Fuck you if you think its okay for a doctor to refuse care based on their religion.

2) Thank fucking god for medical marijuana. If it weren't for my state getting their shit together in time, we would have had to increase the amount of opiods he had to take, we would have felt like lying to the doctors, we would have felt like lying to our parents, etc. Instead, we were able to formulate a pain management plan with our doctors that included medical marijuana being used. It was supervised by them and we were also able to speak with the surgery team to decrease the dosage of opiods since we were doing medical marijuana as well. Its also the only reason he was able to get a full night sleep for the last 8 months.

People also think medical pot and pot from the street is the same, but when its medical you and your doctor can pick the strand and the amount of thc you need for sleep and for daily life. You can play with topicals and different methods to take it in order to avoid side effects from smoking. It was beautiful. But its sad that so many people around the US still don't have this in their tools to handle their health.

 

Smurf,
Good grief, it sounds like you and Philip have both been through Hell! I am so sorry to hear this. What a nightmare this must have been. It must have been a truly nerve racking experience. Back pain can be excruciating and the surgery has to be done with extreme care to avoid further complications or paralysis. The worry about the procedure and finding the right doctor must have led many a sleepless night. So relieved to have read that you found a skilled surgeon and that the operation was successful. Hopefully Philip will be able to become painful within a short time, without having to rely on opioids whatsoever. You are fortunate that the pain management plan included an alternative to those opioids, which indeed can become quite addictive. Hopefully the healing process is well underway and that this will all be a painful memory.

Make sure however YOU get checked out. Frightening events like this can (and probably has) led to great stress for you. Stop by your physician to make sure your health hasn't been undermined by worry.You don't want to develop high blood pressure or heart problems. That won't help Philip or you. Wishing good fortune and health to you both!

 

Your trust, the most gorgeously stupid thing I ever cut in the world...

 

Me: *cleaning*
My dad: *following close behind, fucking shit up*

Its probably not possible to find a more chill "roommate", but I'm praying it's much easier to find a clean one.