Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Mirko, Feb 28, 2017.
Thanks it went well.
I wish I felt happy. Not distracted. Happy.
Tonight I'm depressed. The past few days I've been looking back on the last few years of my life and what my bipolar disorder has cost me. It cost me a fair amount of money, as when I'm on a high swing, I tend to spend money. My freshman year of college I once spent almost $500 in two weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas when I came home from school.
Then this damn disorder has cost me friends. Last summer I lost a friend when I was in a mixed episode and I did something so stupid that I never would have done normally and I lost a good friend over it. That was part of what led me to realize that I had bipolar and not just depression.
I'm glad I've gotten the help and the medication I need, but damn it, I keep wanting to go back and fix things I can't fix. I keep trying to undo the damage I caused, but it's obviously useless. That one person still wants nothing to do with me and it kills me to think about. I seriously wish I could fix it, say "I'm better now and that wasn't me!" but it has always since and always will fall on willingly deaf ears.
I wish you could medicate away past damage like you can the symptoms of a disorder.
My bf and I share a lot together, which is usually awesome, but we could do without the stomach bug we are currently sharing. Bring me all the Advil and PowerAde!
Just started watching Atypical and oh my god...it's so cringy at some points but so interesting
What am I thinking? Too much. So much I don't even know what I'm thinking. That's what I'm thinking
I think I might make a road trip to Kalamazoo on Monday while my parents are gone.
That I'm starting college soon....so I need to get prepared.
Same, even though in some ways I'm glad to be returning to school for having a routine again but I'm super anxious thinking about it.
I can pick up my A Level results tomorrow, currently about 10 hours from now. I'm so nervous about how I've done, hoping they're okay though.
First lesson learned at college: I do not understand people my age.
I have a week long camping class in a week and a half.
No friends in the class.
No service service where we're going. Which means no internet, no talking to friends (either online or irl), and no talking to the guy I like.
Trying to go a full week without being super depressed/breaking down.
And just looked at the class list. And there is only one other guy in the class, so that means I'm sharing whatever I have to share with that one stranger.
These are all non-issues, but jhbcjhdchj, I'm anxious af.
Good luck to those of you starting college this year
Anxiety and feeling depressed are taking turns being the heavier ones on the teeter-toter.
That's my life everyday.
Text books I need to order. I should stop procrastinating so the thought stops nagging at the back of my head.
As I was getting off work, I received an email from a company I applied to regarding my application. I seem like a good fit and they're fixing to send me a short "homework" assignment as part of the interview process. I thought I was done with homework