Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Randy, Jun 22, 2016.
I'm tired of life
So...I made Python program to take a sentence in English and show the individual translation in Pig Latin.
Also made the reverse
I need to cry
Imma do a happy dance because there is an openly gay person at my school. He doesn't get picked on, from what I've seen, and that makes me so happy.
There, there. It'll all be okay soon enough (*hug*)
So my math class went from shit I've never heard of to shit I knew how to do in sixth grade.
And then it'll run to "so much shit for me to remember, I'm going to fail"
And than you cry yourself to sleep and eat corn chips unlike your arteries explode from failure.
I need to finish reading Gilgamesh
I should really be sleeping, I have an 8 am class....
So, all my usual radio stations had commercials and as I was scanning came to a hip hop station that had a song and not a commercial and the song was (I shazamed it) "Juicy" by Notorious Big. I listened to the lyrics (that I could understand) and it basically confirmed to me that most rap songs tend to have this "aspirational/look-at-me-now vibe." He rapped about how he was a dropout and his teachers didn't think he would be much but look at him now. "Sipping champagne when thirsty" and having people pay to see "Biggie Smalls." As much as it pains me to use this word, hip hop seems to be very "meta," rapping about becoming a rapper. And, what's up with "blow up like the World Trade" (sure, it was the first one in the 90s he's referencing, but still).
And, while we're in the hip hop/rap genre, what the heck does it mean to get "in formation?"
Hey guys, I know is been a while. I just haven't felt the heart to come on EC knowing what I have been like lately.
Thought I would give a update on my situation because I've had the urge to post on here for sometime.
So first off. I've been able to be half way out of the closet around my two nephews. Other then that I'm back in the closet basically.
My 6 months is up so I could have left with no guilt if everyone was healthy at home right now. It seems like my dad is sick now. And he may die soon. Hopefully he regains strength and is fine but, right now he seems very sick. This makes me feel enormous amounts of guilt. Especially hearing my brother blame me for his sickness saying he's been depressed since he was "struck by a lightning bolt"...implying me coming out as the lightning bolt.
My grandmother seems to hate me. She walks out of the room when I come in. She don't look at me. It's very strange seeing as I am back in the closet. She is most likely mad because she feels I'm the reason my father is sick.
Now my father told me today that even if he dies one day after my wedding he will die happily. It saddens me extremely that the circumstances I'm in have left me feeling like there is no way out of being unhappy for me. If I leave I will not have anyone or anything. Then I will always be tormented by my past till I die. And I will constantly fear for my soul going to hell.
It made me have suicidal thoughts today. I figure if I kill myself maybe everything will be ok. I'm the issue now. But, if I did kill myself I would definetly want to come out to everyone I know beforehand. Come out to my culture. So that I would not be remembered as a lie. I would have to write a extremely long note.
I'm so sorry to hear of your situation at home, but you have to realise that it is not your fault that your father is ill. Sickness - physical sickness at least - is caused by viruses or bacteria, not your sexual orientation. Even if you want to argue that shock weakened his immune system momentarily - it still isn't your fault. Terrible things happen sometimes and nobody knows why, but blaming yourself for your father's illness would be like blaming yourself for the hurricane in America right now: pointless.
If your grandmother really is blaming you, then that's all her issue. Maybe she's doing it because if she can blame a tangible being for her misfortunes, it'll make it easier on her. Not that what she's doing is okay, because it isn't okay at all and it must be so hurtful, but I doubt that she sincerely blames you.
Now, I don't want to tell you what I think about hell - because this doesn't need to be made into a religious issue, also I'm an atheist so you can probably guess exactly what I think - but for now, let's say that hell is a place reserved for the worst people, not where you will end up.
Please, please don't do anything drastic. Honestly I don't fully understand your situation so I don't know what might help you, but I do know that if you want to see life get better, you have to stick around for it, right? It will get better, I promise.
You know what I am thinking? I am thinking that its bullshit that someone like me gets kudos for even coming to a site like this. I've been coming here ever since my 11 year old came out to me. She's an angel. I, however, am not. I have had the HARDEST time coming to terms with my daughter being a 11/13 year old lesbian. Possibly a transgender/cross-gender/we haven't decided yet. I hate all of this conflict. Add to that the fact that I found out that I am back-handedly a bi-sexual. I hate all of this conflict crap Bottom line, is that almost every9one here has been super-nice and accepting. You'all don't have to be so nice. It makes me feel bad for my daughter This is not to say that you should go out of your way to be mean....
Hi, well I guess most people here are trying to be nice when someone is going through something. But hey, there will still be people who will tell you things straight up with no varnished words to make you feel better.
I personally don't know how I could be of help or make things easier for you, but I wish you the best!
I personally joined EC just to vent out what I was feeling a few days ago. I can't expect professional help here, i know that, but I understand that people take time to comment and share their experience and I am thankful for that.
Even though I'm lonely, I'm not dating anyone at my school.
I am thinking and praying for those who are affected by Hurricane Matthew. I heard that 4 million customers are without power and those who lived in FL and SC are coming down to inland GA for shelter and that's great
Ugh stomach aches
When you tell your friends a secret and your sister finds out and is literally fucking threatening you with it. It's all just a joke to her.
It's so awkward to sit here and listen to my classmates jabber on.
I wish I could just leave