What are you thinking?

It's hard for me to imagine coming out to my parents. Maybe I never will- maybe I'll disappear for a few years, and just invite them to my wedding one day and see what happens.

I don't know, I think they'd be cool with it- but I can just imagine the questions now. I mean, how do you even begin to explain my situation? I'm not particularly fond of the idea of talking about what happened in the past. Like "oh by the way my um "special friend" I had? Yeah, he's gay. And I'm gay." Surprise! Then the follow up questions: So then why did you date him? "Guilt, confusion, shame, denial- wanting to hang on to my friends, and then failing to hold on to friends after being outed". I mean, it's pretty heavy stuff, I don't want to dump that all on my parents. I'm so sick of coming out, I wish it was just a one time deal and then I wouldn't have to feel like I'm constantly stuck explaining myself.

I need some time to think. Still, no great rush to come out. I hate this though, the constant worry that I'll be a disappointment and that they won't believe me or something after building up this life for myself only to admit to its falsity. But for now, it doesn't matter. Nothing does. :dry:

 

I dated a few girls before I came out to my parents and like you I thought oh I'm not coming out till I'm moving out!even though I was pretty sure they would be okay with it. Well later on I ended up coming out at 14. I think it will be okay for you don't worry! I bet within the next couple of months you'll be out to your parents.

 

Damn, you came out at 14? I was only starting to come to the realisation that I was gay at that age. It was horrible at the time. I remember spending the day before my 14th Birthday hiding in a covered slide at a play-ground, then hiding in an arcade, being discovered and being spat at with disgust from this guy at a holiday resort we were staying at during the time.They had found out over-hearing a conversation I had with someone where I admitted I was questioning my sexuality (I was back then, not these days though). After that I was a lot more self-concious about my mannerisms and who I told, and in what circumstances. Still ended up getting outed at the end of the school year- basically I'm not to be trusted with anything and I make terrible decisions. :eusa_doh: Wait, where was I going with this again? :eusa_doh:

---------- Post added 25th Jan 2016 at 08:36 PM ----------

Hm, I'm not sure about that, but I'm getting there. One step at a time I guess. How did it go for you? Did they take it well? Just human curiosity here.

 

Starting macbeth in English next! Hope we watch the movie that just came out. Also, new york needs to fix its education the regents are difficult and I am trying but failing to understand geometry

 

I really want cookies...

 

Anyone like the game Bejeweled?

 

It's almost February!!! I cant wait to get and give nothing for Valentines!!! I also cant wait for TWD and Deadpool <3

 

I'm thinking of, only a year and a half until I start living full-time as a woman. My depression lifts whenever I think of transitioning and living as a lesbian girl. <3

 

I narrowly escaped sleeping with three friends in the early hours of this morning. They proceeded to sleep with each other after I extricated myself.

That's the most lively opening to Australia Day I've ever had. :rolle:

 

Im thinking about how popular this thread got. Its amazing how popular it is

 

(Sigh.) Am reminded, yet again, why I feel out-of-place even here. :dry:

 

Is everything okay?

 

I'm home, listening to the Cheetah Girls 3 soundtrack. Nice way to spend my day off school.

---------- Post added 25th Jan 2016 at 02:51 PM ----------

And I just got ninja'd.

 

Yea I realized I was gay around 11 and accepted it at 13 and yea told my parents at 14. They took well. My dad was a little disappointed bc he was worried he won't have any grandchildren but then I just reminded him that children drive me crazy and they drive him crazy and whenever we're at the store and there's a screaming kid I'm quick to point that out. But yea all went fine.

 

Things are fine, it's just a personal ideological difference I feel between myself and others. Despite the emoticon, I don't mean to come off as angry, embittered but it reminds me of an inherent loneliness and relative isolation within the queer community.

 

I seriously need to find a therapist soon

 

My friend started opening up to me about his problems and for once I know I have to give him the "tough love" solution. Because by now I should know that when I give him compliments and praise him it changes nothing. Nothing. It doesn't matter to him. I'm not the person he wants to hear compliments from. My opinions don't matter.

 

Ah. Yeah I started having crushes on girls at 11 years old, but I hadn't worked out what it all meant and accepted it till I was 14.

:lol: Well you can still have kids when you're older if you want. I mean there are options out there like surrogacy or adoption if you ever change you mind on that. Glad to hear that overall it went well though.

 

(!) (!)

 

Oh yea I know that! I don't really want kids though as I have no paternal instinct.