What are you thinking?

And so as the Buddha

I will walk my path.

 

Frankly, I'm just becoming more and more skeptical of people in general these days when it comes to opening up. Starting to wonder if it's really possible to connect and make an impact, but that's another conversation... Weird thing in this situation is I can tell it wasn't meant maliciously or even toward me, but could be taken in that way.

"I don't know if everyone who does that means anything bad by it and maybe they're just really on edge because they've had a bad day." Probably varies, in this case I can definitely say she was on edge... she normally kind of is.

Having a therapist definitely helps if you can find a good one, if only for providing a space for focusing on whatever you need to discuss. I was fortunate to be directed to a center almost immediately, student therapists so have to transfer every year otherwise it's worked fine. Would think once a therapist/psychiatrist is found, looking into prescriptions could be easier. This is something I actually have been meaning to check out as well for depression which, like your attacks, has gotten worse which I'm sorry about, along with your boyfriend's passive-aggressiveness today [always frustrating,] though I hope you can find a therapist soon and move on from there.

Also, congrats to your brother!

 

♫This summer's gonna hurt like a motherfucker♫

 

I got most of my stuff moved in my dorm room tonight, and I'll move in tomorrow and then I have a few days until Uni starts. I got to meet my roommate tonight, and he seems pretty chill, and I also met my friend's roommate as well. I feel this is going to be a good year.

 

i am exhausted! and terrified for tomorrow O.O i don't know what it is about late starts at school that terrify me O.O

 

Bemoaning civilization, and all the air pollution we created; it's horrible, it makes it hard to breathe, all these fucking cars and engines puffing out fumes. (A skunk can't even compare to those harms. It's actions are only for protection)

The air out east, down south in places and in LA is like Beijing, we're chokin' like China on our own excess, and could care less what species goes extinct next.

Red Pandas will most likely be extinct in our lifetime, as well as a host of other species. But do we care? No.

An emphatic no: I feel hopeless; we don't value diversity so much as the latest disposable, must have iphone, and the sweat-shop labor and pollution that makes them possible.

I hate you, Steve Jobs, even after you're dead, and I hate Silicon valley, both the chips and the fake boobs.

And now: I talked to my lover, my boyfriend, my friend now husband of 25 years: and we agree: we want to die, soon, together life has gathered itself up, like some old bag, and been bed, straw, thrown away. I have so many pills, I will not even feel it: the train will run over me, I know the time, the place, I will be there and yet, not that day. I will not feel a thing. If, in the after life, me and my husband can gaze back on this earth, we will both shed a single tear.

I am seriously thinking this is the time, I could go now, and not feel a thing. But then, I've never mattered, people hate me here, not even a 'member', just me, and why? I try so hard, and death is like a nap. It is so hard, the only reasons I'm scared.

& I read somebody's profile, says they hate (have a strong dislike of furries...well, that ain't no no way to make a welcome. I think it's so stupid, people with their odd sexuality, seeking solace, while judging others like that.)

@so.

I'm so tired of being judged, literally, by the young, by the old: I want to die.

---------- Post added 19th Aug 2015 at 02:28 AM ----------

And the means to die: A train is one of the most effective methods. 90%, and then some.

I can picture the time, the place, life: it is given up.

 

Called the suicide hotline, was not really helpful, gonna go to sleep, now is not the time.

Don't wanna cause no fuss.

 

Unintelligence is a huge turn-off.

 

Those hotlines are not really helpful. Better to just focus on what it is you find beauty in. No need for no po-lice, no am-bu-lance. Lemme just sort this out, think to me of pagan days.

 

are you feeling ok? feel free to send me a message if you ever need (*hug*)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

on another note. i'm bored, I have a cold, mum just cooked tea and DINT MEKE ME ENY :eusa_naug :eusa_naug:eusa_naug:eusa_naug

 

The spiders all in tune,
The evening of the moon,
Dreams are made winding through my head

 

What am i doing with my life other than listening to music all day

 

No, that's fine, your life is yours to do with what you want.

 

My professor approached me and said that I have the highest grade in our subject, Logic, in our class... It made me think... Am I really good at Logic or my classmates just dont have common sense?

 

I woke up at hour ago and can't go back to sleep.

 

How do I know when/if to call this a date? We've met a few times but never called it that. I think we're both interested in each other, but no one has said anything to that effect. We're just friends as far as I understand "officially".

 

So my mum and some people from my male parent's side of the family want me to be more involved with the people of my male parent's side. Personally, I don't really see why it's so important, I honestly don't care much for my male parent's side. So I don't really see the point...