What are you thinking?

We gathered in a circle and prayed to the One True Brady Slayer, Eli Manning. He answered our prayer by turning an incompletion into an impossible miracle catch. But Pete Carroll squandered Eli's gift. The Seahawks spat in the face of God, and now Tom Bitchface Brady will be hailed the greatest quarterback in NFL history. Eli was the only one who could have vanquished him before it was too late. Now Brady's reign is complete, and an era of Darkness is now upon us. May Eli have mercy on our souls...

 

I wish I could :tears:

There is no undoing the great calamity that has befallen us today.

Eli, where were you when we were in our darkest hour :tears:

 

I will get this ethics homework done... even if it is the death of me.

 

Somehow this evening wasn't a bad shift, yet it left me kinda down? As though it made me feel incompetent [being the first time I took the 'lead' during a closing shift.] Granted it didn't help that my coworker for this evening didn't take much initiative in doing other things while I was busy, but I can't place blame on him.

Really wish I could, realistically, quit this job and not have to worry about what impact an employment gap would have on applying for other things.

You lost me at "Cars." :|

Also, to refer to another post, I remember liking What About Bob? too (Haha.)

 

I just realized that I have 11 thousand posts here...

 

I'm thinking that I feel like I came back from the dead or something cause I haven't been on here in a while =p

 

Haters gonna hate...

 

Fuck you dad.

So I'm not even going to go into the homophobia that occurred during the super bowl. I expected it....so I just sat on my chair being as fabulous and flawless as Beyoncé and enjoyed the halftime show. (which was awesome!)

On the way home: my father decided to talk about how he has a grudge against a certain gypsy man. He said he has to destroy that old man's grandsons life. Because, that grandson is adopted from people of Mexican decent. Now this, I couldn't stand for. I told him to not make fun of the fact that the couple adopted a child (that couple cannot have children). I said that they did a good thing adopting a child in need. Obviously, as a gay man....having a child isn't as easy for me. So it was something that I wasn't going to keep quiet on. He then decided to cuss me out. He told me "I'm starting to hate you, and I can cut you loose.".....hearing this from my father is very hard on me. I can't stand this man.

Second of all.....if he's going make rascist remarks of the fact that a child is mexican.....it's going to be hilarious when people make fun of him for having a gay son. Oh....the irony.

 

I'm definitely taken for granted, especially when it comes to my dad.

Whenever his kids make any accomplishments, he believes that he took part in that, when he was never emotionally there, like my mom always was. For example, I got a letter in the mail sent to my parents' house, letting me know that I'm close to graduating. He read it and was all proud, as if he's the reason I'm driven to succeed and be the best person I can be. My mom is the only parent who gets credit for that.

But when there's no audience, when it's just the family, he doesn't even give his kids the time of day. When I come home to visit, he doesn't really talk to me. He doesn't ask me about my photography, what music I'm currently listening to. It's always small talk, then he goes back and isolates himself. I'm sure it has to do with the fact that he knows that I know of his affairs. I get that. You can only play the "pretend everything's fine between me and my kids" card for so long.

I'm not saying I'm a saint, but I know myself well enough to say I'm someone with good intentions. However, when I'm around him, he brings out the worst in me, and it makes me question if I really am a good person sometimes. I become this angry, angry person, and I hate it.

I'm tired of being unappreciated.

 

Not exactly politically correct.

In a couple of weeks there is gonna be a whole village in Burundi that will think the Seahawks won Super Bowl XLIX.

 

Damn, FML

My dad just called me into his room and basically told me he is disowning me. He will probably get over it tomorrow but, really? This confirms my thoughts of being disowned when I come out to 110%

Fuck him, and fuck his life. I havent even told you I'm gay, and your already telling me all this bullshit. "I'm taking away the car keys, I'm never buying you clothes ever again, your going to be walking to flip burgers, your going to be trailer trash, and I'm never getting you married" is basically what he told me in a nutshell. The getting married part is a little funny though.....just saying

It really really really hurt when he said all this. It made me feel like when I disown myself I'm going to be a failure. I cannot accept that. I hate this feeling so much. I hate having my life controlled by someone else. I hope he dies.

My ranting is getting old and annoying but, it helps me. Venting is good.

 

I just feel so used and betrayed by everyone and everything.

The only thing that's stopping me from killing myself is knowing that I'm moving across the ocean in 5 months.

 

Sam Smith sounds great live... just as good or even better than his recorded songs. <3 him so much~

 

Ha ha found the strip poker game from my teenage years which I kept intentionally loosing...

 

Omg have you ever just wanted to grab your best friend and tell her she's is stupid?

 

9 out of 10 times when she tells me about her love affairs, yeah.

--------------------------------------------------

German gay movies are the best



EDIT: *10 minutes later*

STILL THE BEST​

 

I forgot to do something before leaving work last night and hoping that someone noticed before the next person started work. x_____x

---------- Post added 2nd Feb 2015 at 07:34 AM ----------

Yes, only trouble is I don't get scheduled for closing very often anymore and usually when I do someone else [usually more on top of things] takes the lead position. 99% of my current shifts are opening when I'm alone, so the pace and flow is very different. :/

Keeping my neutral feelings in mind, would say I very much want to leave but others seem to suggest or imply it'd be wiser to stay for the time being.

 

Going to a funeral is a weird way to start your Monday morning. Even weirder when you don't know most of the people there.