What are you thinking?

I am upset.

 

Video games. The Le Man's endurance race was only 24 minutes in Gran Turismo 6. I can live with that. Dynasty Warriors 8 Xtreme Legends. European release. That's gonna eat into my time. Also; Dark Souls II, Final Fantasy X/X-2 (PS3 remaster), Lightning Returns, Tales of Symphonia: Chronicles (PS3 remaster). I won't purchase a PS4 yet.

Reading. I read 'Monster' by Allan Hall. I agree with the title! Josef Fritzl = scum. Monster is also the name of an unrelated excellent anime. I've mostly read non-fiction throughout my life. Although I recently read some fiction books by Clive Barker. It's time to read more fiction!

 

Ooo I've seen the YouTube videos for FFX where they put standard definition vs. high definition side by side as a means of comparison. This way you can gauge the difference which is nice. Too bad my bro sold the PS3, so yeah...

 

Removing all trace of facial hair makes me look really young. When guys shave, you can usually still see a bit of stubble, which is what I lacked.

 

I hate when i have no stubble, but i got a stuble trimmer last year and its ideal. You set the length so you have just as much stubble left as you want.

I shaved properly the other day and got an under 16s bus ticket on the way to work in a bar... Ironic and insulting!

 

How long did it end up taking you?

 

Wow. I just bleached my hair, for the application of more dye, and instead of going blonde/white, it has turned into a bunch of different pastel shades of green, blue, red, purple and orange. And there is also some white and brown in there. This could be interesting.

---------- Post added 24th Jan 2014 at 10:55 PM ----------

Since starting T? It's been about 21 months.

 

Alright. Just curious. Figure it'd be different from person to person. Man. Going to be at least six years before I can even think about having facial hair. That sucks.

 

That seriously sucks man.

I've got some ways to go yet. I've just recently started getting a moustache (not that I keep it) and there is virtually nothing on my chin yet. I've heard it can take up to five years for the facial hair to really finish developing.

 

It'll probably be four years until I can actually get to see someone. Unless due some miracle the healthcare stuff covers everything due to me having no job/income, but I doubt that. I doubt either of the colleges I'll go to will help me out. I drop off the insurance in roughly seven months. So, I'll have to wait till I finish university to be able to even afford anything.

 

I was about to suggest looking for a queer center but I can't imagine there'd be too much in Oklahoma.

Hope it happens sooner, rather than later.

I'm hoping to spend the weekend applying to more places. Something's gotta hire, right?

 

As someone who has two masters...

Fuck grad school.

 

Everything is centered in OKC, which actually has a pretty vibrant LGBT community called the 39th Street Enclave. There's even more LGBT groups for the OU college at OKC than the Tulsa one.

 

I really wish I could just shake off this depression and loneliness...

 

Darn, I got such awesome Facebook stalking skills... It's scary.

 

I like to compare depressive episodes to being stuck in a whirlpool. For a while, I'll fight it with every ounce of strength I have, but eventually, it pulls me under, and I drown, only to find myself washed up on land weeks or months later. Apparently, other people noticed the change in personality and habit before I was even aware.

 

That describes my experience with true depression to a T.

A little over a year and few months since my last major episode.

 

Had one of those "I'm not gay moments". Usually goes like this. I shouldn't be on this site, I'm straight. I just happen to like guys as much or possibly more than women. Oh, wait...

 

No, seriously. Something better freaking hire. Still have to get my food handler's card. Hoping to get something backroom so I don't have to worry too much about being out or not. I'm dreading doing something like a service job, legal name on tag and then being recognized from school.

Maybe I'll just need to have a convenient twin sister. "Oh. Yeah. I'm Betsy Sue. My brother goes to that school, yes we look alike."