What Are You Thinking?

My favourite way of teaching people this comes from The Oatmeal:

"If you put in A in 'definitely', then you are definitely an A-hole."

 

I'm thinking of my crush and how little time we have before we will be forced to part. I know it's not forever, but we will probably never be as close as we are now... it breaks my heart :tears:

 

:roflmao: Thanks for linking this, I'm going to use it from now on!

 

you don't deserve the shit life that was thrust on you. i'm so sorry. you deserve so much better

 

Why do you keep on inisiting that I am female. You know my true feelings, but you act like you don't. I know this shouldnt be that big of a deal, but it hurts. I feel like I'm taking bullets with each female pronoun you throw at me. *sigh* Just stop...please.

 

I feel so :***: empowered right now. :lol:


Here's a song that sums it up, kind of:


[YOUTUBE]_BnFwnmTO5Q[/YOUTUBE]

 

Well, this is my last week of highschool. I told myself I wouldn't cry, but here it comes. WAAAAH! Okay. That's fine.

The only thing I am sad about is I won't ever get to see my crush again...don't know how I'll get over this one. Maybe with TONNES of anime.

On the bright side, another boy in my class, who I've heard is pansexual... saw my rainbow bracelet today when I handed him a pencil. The darn thing fell from my sleeve like Batman's wrist-grappling hook. It was in plain view when I held out the pencil. He just smiled and said thanks.

...And he's going to my college. +1 for me...maybe? Idk.

 

I'm thinking why I can't find a girl who could love me not just someone who will love me because they need a friend or somebody they could cry on. Why I always fall in to the friendzone and be that good friend? I don't think I could ever find a girl who will love me. <sigh>

 

my first crush :rolle:

 

Apparently I won't have another therapy session for another two weeks (Sigh.) At least I don't feel as depressed about that as when I realised I wouldn't make this evening's appointment.

 

Bah. Gallbladder, why are you insistent on giving me trouble? I am not ready to take you out. ;-;

 

Must be jelly cause jam don't shake.

 

I should probably get to know my housemates, but for the past few days I have felt absolutely zero desire to be social. Seriously, someone try to talk to me at work today and all I could think about was getting back to work. I'm starting to suspect that it's a manifestation of my depression and anxiety; I'm pushing myself so far in other areas that it's pulling resources away from my forced extroversion.

But it feels so good most of the time! I'm actually going out and doing things! I went to work for the first time today, signed my first lease last week, cooked my first meal in my new place yesterday, even ordered some furniture for my room...I know it's small, but for the first time it feels like my life is in order. I don't want to expose myself to other people if it means I'll lose that.

But I know that shutting myself in isn't healthy in the long run. It sounds like both of my housemates are home, so maybe I'll go downstairs and try to chat with them for a few minutes before going to bed.

 

I dont own hardly any cds which for me sucks seeing as I love music. However today my friend Dion told me he got me a White Chapel cd. I am so happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Can't decide if I want to drop $1300 on components for a new computer. :C

 

I shall smite thee.

 

So I decided to mention that I have a boyfriend as I'm working at the till to get a fellow employee to quit teasin' me about 'flirting' with a woman, and when I say teasing, I mean completely friendly. Because I was barely even TALKING to this woman. xD

Anyway, mentioned having a boyfriend, and my face just goes COMPLETELY beet red. I don't know WHY, but it was embarrassing to even think about after it was all said and done. Yet, at the same time, as I reflected that I had said I have a boyfriend, some part of me felt elated and relaxed, despite feeling a bit embarrassed about it. Like it felt good to actually be able to say that. Such a weird feeling, but bringing up that I have a boyfriend in public actually feels pretty nice, if a bit awkward sometimes if I'm feeling a bit sensitive about other peoples' opinions. >w<

 

I don't know why I thought of it, but I used to have a Yahoo mail address back in the late 90s. I haven't used it since I got my own domain back in 2000.

Can't believe it, but I remembered my password. I logged in, but all my old mail was gone as my account had been deactivated.

 

I have 20 minutes to get changed, change which wheels have bearings in them, change which wheels are on my skates, get my gear together, cook, eat, and leave for training. I really don't feel like moving.

 

Two more weeks...so close but yet so far =/