What are some ways people have invalidated your sexuality or gender?

Not spoken at me, but I've had a coworker in my department describe bisexuals as girls who fool around going "Look at me, look at me, I'm pretty" to get some guy's attention.
Oh, and there was this time in high school where a casual friend kept talking about how "f*ggots are disgusting, but I know you're not one. You don't give off that kind of vibe." Though personally, I would probably prefer it to my face rather than have a friend talk as if they aren't homophobic and then just drop off from your life.

I guess that's an upside of not being out of the closet at work and school =/.

 

(this one was before i came out to everyone)

"It's just a phase it'll pass"

and now 3 years later i'm still bisexual you know i don't think it's a phase

 

"All women are bisexual anyway":tantrum:
No they're not!!! :eusa_naug

 

Over my visit home at Christmas, my Sister and Brother-in-law informed me that if I found a partner I wanted to marry, their family would not attend the service because the bible, church and their faith deemed it a sin. Legal or not in the U.S.

I have never in my life felt more alone and rejected. The family has known for years.

I honestly don't know if I will ever go back. I'm safe in my bubble in San Francisco. I'm so tired of leaving it and being wounded. It takes so long to heal, even back in the bubble. I say this a month later.

Religion is our salvation and it will be our death.

 

Conversation:
-[Birth name]'s bi.
-I'm actually pan...
-Eh, bi's easier.

Conversation:
-So, you're... trans.
-yeah.. I like Vincent.
-Okay, Vincent.
[NEXT DAY]
-Hello, [Birth name]
-Um... actually..
-Oh, sorry, Vincent.
[NEXT DAY]
-[birth name]!!!
-....

 

-you shouldn't label yourself
-it's just natural curiosity
-you'll meet someone you'll want to have kids with
-but you've had crushes on guys before
-you're too young to know who you're attracted to
-you're pansexual? does that mean you're attracted to pans?

 

"You're too young to have so many labels" (my mother in response to my being aro/ace)
"I realize that you don't feel like one or the other, but you have girl parts. biologically you are a girl, and you look like a girl, and people will interact with you as a girl. just accept it." (mom about my being nonbinary)

 

Some of my friends don't know how to treat my bisexuality. So some try to introduce me only to guys; others only to girls. I was never really bothered by it.

I'm not exactly an open book to my friends IRL.

 

Even after I told her not to, my mom still calls me by my birth name.
My mom also still uses she/her when I told her it's they/them.
I've been called XX right in front of me.
Upon correcting someone on my name, he promptly said "I have more important things on my mind right now."
I was told that being nonbinary was a mental illness and I needed to get checked out.

 

I got today:
Are you sure, like 100% that it's not society making you like this? it's been running rampant lately.

 

"You're confused."
"But you were attracted to (insert female celebrity name)."

 

-"It's just a phase."
-"You're confused."
-"You just haven't found the right guy yet!"
-"You're going to get married to a man eventually."
-"You should go out with him!"
-"You're too pretty to date a girl."

 

I thought that second one got knocked off at the end of the 1960s

 

- "Why do you do such feminine things? are you trying to make it hard for us?"
- "he, she or whatever"
- "You know all girls want to be guys because they think it's easier to be a guy but they're wrong."

THEM: "you're probably just a lesbian"
ME: "no, I'm not"
THEM: "I've got lesbian friends so I would know"
ME: :eusa_naug

 

The whole trans enough thing, refusing to use my name, telling the doctor to use my birthname (who asked me again so we ended up with Mr. surname luckily). Never having proof enough. I'm gonna slap my parents with the fucking diagnosis until their faces turn red.

 

--- 'You just haven't found the right guy yet...once you do you'll turn back...'

I've heard that one a couple times!


And these two are from family members:

---'It was (ex girlfriend) that got you involved in 'this' and led you down this path...'

---'This is just a phase'


At this point I just find these sort of comments kind of comical. I'm 49, and though I am a late bloomer I have never felt more comfortable with myself or more 'at home' since I accepted I was a lesbian (about four years ago.) Most people in my world are really supportive, don't care one way or another about my sexuality and just want me to be happy. But I realized as with everything, not everyone is going to 'get it'. And that's ok-I am not going to waste time trying to 'make' them get it--it's their stuff. I know I am finally living my truth and that's what's important!

 

-I'm too young to know for sure
-It's just a phase, you'll grow out of it
-She's your best friend for pete's sake not your girlfriend!

 

oh my, yeah. here are my 'favourites':
-"everyone likes sex, you're just in denial."
-"you must find a girl to marry."
-"why are you ashamed of it?" (no i am not, I'm just not interested.)
-"but you like men, you must want to have sex with them!"
-"boys don't wear make up."
-"what have you done to your hair, you look like a girl now!"
-"you're a fucking beautiful guy... are you transgender?"
and a recent situation: "your hair is amazing and you look so hot in that corset, you're such a beautiful woman and I want to pleasure you!". my God, I am male. I'm not feminine at all, despite of what my appearance must say.

---------- Post added 12th Mar 2017 at 11:20 AM ----------

this has almost made me cry. why are people that awful?

 

Tell them that if they are true Christians than they would know that no matter what gender the two people are (male/male, female/female) all love is stronger than any sin combined (try and reword it though if this one doesn't make sense)

 

I came out to people that I thought respected me enough, and they didn't. They said I'm gay because of x, y, z, but mostly because I seem straight. One also told other people I'm not gay, several times. These people were good acquaintances, some friends. They all believed him. Nothing to my face so far, that I remember anyway. (grandma yelled "No you're not!," but I have a feeling that was all shock. She immediately ran after me and talked me down and accepted me<3)