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What am I supposed to about this? Help

Discussion in 'For Parents and Family Members of LGBT People' started by Warriormom, Aug 15, 2019.

  1. Warriormom

    Regular Member

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    Out to everyone
    I am straight. I love and completely accept my child who is in high school and has come out which I am so proud. Kids got guts. Her whole world is crashing and her family (who blames me for having gay friends) are attacking her online. This was from her "favorite" aunt. God Help me I want to start lining people up with a tank. She cant just "get over it" these are people who have loved her her whole life. I have smoked half a pack of cigarettes and screamed in my car for twenty minutes. What should we do now?

    (Edit: screenshot removed by mod because it included identifying information (name)
     
    #1 Warriormom, Aug 15, 2019
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 15, 2019
  2. silverhalo

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    Hey welcome to EC, you know what she is going to be ok and the reason I know that is she has you for a Mum. Unfortunately there is no magic wand that you can wave over the situation, the best thing you can do is just stick up for her. I would suggest perhaps trying to get her to take a break from the online world, maybe see if there are any LGBT groups in the area so that she can meet other people her age and get some support.
    I know it is really tough because you want to try and protect her but time will hopefully do a lot of healing. Keep on with EC I am sure we can help you through this rocky road. I am truely sorry your family have reacted this way.
     
    rktonks likes this.
  3. DecentOne

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    Hi WarriorMom,

    Wow, she is so lucky to have you fiercely in her corner.

    You don’t explain much of her aunt’s reaction. Each person handles things differently of course, but we hope the folks who are our best friends/mentors will have better reactions. This must be so hard for that Aunt, for whatever reason. Does her Aunt identify with your child, you know kinda like “she’s just like me at that age” or is it that she doesn’t have kids of her own and she feels like a godparent or extra parent, maybe feels super responsible and didn’t know what to do with this?

    There is a PFLAG (Parents Friends/Family group) organization listed in your area. Maybe they would be a good resource for you to learn ways to engage with family members who are not being supportive... or even inviting those family members to come along if it turns out that would help them along.
     
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  4. Goya

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    Validate her. Whatever anyone else is saying to her you unfortunately can’t control. Stand by her, love her and let her know that you’re supporting her. I hope it gets better soon
     
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  5. Cind Ace

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    Hey warriormom,
    The most important thing is you are there for her, you are her mom after all and nothing can beat that support than an aunt who trash talks instead of supporting her after what shes been through. Honestly she cannot rely from those people to support of her happiness when they dont even support the idea of her being gay. I came out to my mom and my sister and family accepted me and some of those relatives should NOT have a say of what im happy about . If she's truly happy who she is now then that is it, there should have no approval needed from anyone but only you as the mom . Just back her up and know that you are there anytime she wants that is all that matters not what other should think. she should focus more now being free and happy than the burden of what others think.
     
  6. Cind Ace

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