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What advice are you sick of hearing?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Canterpiece, Mar 14, 2019.

  1. Canterpiece

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    Sometimes, despite being well-intentioned, people give advice that leaves you feeling annoyed. Here's a list of mine.

    1) "Right now, you are experiencing the best years of your life".

    :scream:


    That just makes me worry about the future. It implies a massive drop in quality after these years end. Which doesn't help me sleep easy. I get it though, you want me to enjoy this time.

    But it just achieves the opposite, because I end up spending this time worrying about what is going to happen to me.

    2) "You should remember that your childhood years are precious, cherish them".

    :grimacing:


    Oh man. I'd really rather not. Don't get me wrong, I have some good memories of this time in my life. However, I also have some traumatic experiences which still mess me up to this day.

    I've had to spend time trying to undo some of the psychological damage, but there are still a few intense phobias that lurk in my mind and get the best of me. Saying things such as "Your childhood years are the best time in your life!", sometimes it worries me. I understand why people say such things though. After all, I don't expect them to know about the things that happened. It can feel awkward when I get into a conversation and someone asks (often rhetorically) "Don't you just wish we could go back to being a carefree child?" Since I don't wanna ruin the mood by replying "Eh, I spent a great deal of my childhood depressed, so no...not really". Perhaps if I could only relive the good parts.

    3) "Everything happens for a reason!"

    :sweat_smile: *Uncomfortable laughter* :grimacing:

    Mainly because I don't want to get into a disagreement about this. I tend to believe that a lot of our circumstances are fairly random yet at the same time dictated by probability. However, I understand that some people believe in a more linear progression guided by fate. It can come across as dismissive when I tell a person about something hard to talk about, and their only response is "Yeah it's bad but it happened for a reason".

    Well, personally I think that I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. There's an implication that it's a good thing that it happened, because it made me stronger or whatever. But I don't know, it makes me uncomfortable. I'm not really sure how I'm supposed to respond to this statement.

    :upside_down:
     
    #1 Canterpiece, Mar 14, 2019
    Last edited: Mar 14, 2019
  2. BlueMonday

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    "The customer is always right."

    No he isn't.
     
  3. OGS

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    The one that bothers me lately is that I seem to hear at work fairly frequently, even from people above me, "you should just roll with it more," "try not to worry about it," "it's good enough..." Basically it seems like the main advice I get is to care about it less. Why would I want to spend 40+ hours a week doing something I've decided not to care about? I know they're trying to be helpful but it still sort of irritates me...
     
  4. Destin

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    "Just push through the hard stuff, everything after it is easier"

    Stahp. No. You're lying. Stahppppp.

    People have been telling me this since 1st grade. It literally never got easier. I doubt it ever will. You know what comes after the hard stuff? More hard stuff....
     
  5. I'mStillStanding

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    I hate bumper sticker religion. Like: God won’t put more on you than you can handle, he won’t bring you to something that he can bring you through, nothing happens without being filtered through the hands of God... the best one (I know it’s been mentioned) - everything happens for a reason. I was at church with mom like 6 years ago, I’d been sick for a long time and just got out of hospital after a very scary week. Someone said that to me... I looked right at mom with them standing there and said you better get me out of here because I swear to god the next person who says everything happens for a reason I’m gonna slap across the face and ask them do they know why that happened? Because you a dumbass (looking right at the person who had said it)! Mom about died and they rushed me out of church and took me home. It was a couple months before I was asked did I want to go to church with them again lol...
     
  6. Devil Dave

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    "Cheer up" or "smile"

    No. You don't get to dictate what mood I'm in. Try saying something nice to me, sure, but don't tell me how I should be feeling as if you're a director telling me how to improve my act so I can sell a product on a cheesy commercial. You don't actually know what I'm dealing with. If my current mood makes you feel uncomfortable, that's your problem, not mine.

    "You need more confidence"

    Yeah, because that's how confidence works. Someone points out to you that you're low on confidence and you suddenly switch to being more confident. Telling someone to be more confident is basically like telling someone to lose weight. It could be that I'm already working on improving my confidence and it's taking me time to get there, and that I am a lot more donfident now than I was a few months or years earlier when I was really low.

    "Don't let it get you down"

    I say, DO let it get you down. If something's bothering you, tell me about it. You'll probably feel better after talking about it out loud. Telling you to not let it get you down is basically saying "shut up, I don't want to hear it, you're depressing me". If I care about you I do want you to share your problems with me, I'm not just here for laughs to and to be amused by you.

    "Don't give up on your dreams"

    Sometimes you do need to give up on your dreams and goals. If you've been working hard at trying to achieve something and not made any progress, then you need to step back from it and try something else. You still have the option to go back to it later, but it could be that focusing your energy on something completely different will help change your approach to your original goal. It could be that right now is not the time to succeed at your dreams, and if you are focusing all your energy on it without getting anywhere, you can start to resent the fact you had this dream in the first place, and that's not going to do you any good. Taking a break gives you a chance to branch out and set yourself new challenges and discover what else you are capable of.
     
  7. Reviskova

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    "Cheer up" is the one im most annoyed by. like yeah, thanks for telling me that! im definitely bursting with joy now! especially when its in a condescending way.
     
  8. jacobsweat

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    "just don't be in a relationship with a guy, suppress your urges" the entire Presbyterian faith
     
  9. Loves books

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    My parents favorite advice
    Mum: You won’t find a girlfriend if you don’t get out more
    Dad: You won’t find a boyfriend up this mountain
    I can’t drive and I’m 5 miles up a mountain and I’m not out to my dad.
    Actually one of my aunts told me to get sterilized to avoid passing on a genetic illness. I don’t trust my family’s advice.
    Come on give me a smile
    I’m a grown adult and unless my dog is being her cute affectionate self I don’t have much to smile about.
    You should move out of here
    I would love to, Dad, and I’m going to find the money for this where?
    You should have that dog put down
    I’m not killing my dog because she barks at dogs on the tv
    You’ll be able to sleep if you get up at 8 every morning
    And when 7 alarms don’t wake me up?

    I hate advice I don’t ask for.
     
  10. Devil Dave

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    One time an old lady said to me "Cheer up, you're through the worst of it" and I was like "WTF do you know about what I'm going through? You've known me for 3 seconds, how can you possibly know what I'm dealing with in my personal life?" Stupid presumptuous cunt.

    Another piece of advice I get sick of is "Life is short".

    I use it myself, but only in a proactive manner, for example, if someone says "I probably shouldn't do this thing I really enjoy doing" or "I'm really tempted to buy that thing" then I'll say "go ahead, life is short, do it while you can" but if someone appears to be pissed off or stressing about something, I won't tell them life is too short to worry about whatever's bothering them, I will ask them if they are ok and if they need help with anything or if they just want to talk about it. I'm not going to cause them further depression by giving a morbid reminder of their mortality.

    Any way, life isn't that short. I live in an area with a lot of old retired people. There's a reason we've got more retirement homes than funeral parlours in our town.
     
  11. Destin

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    Agreed. Life isn't short. I'm 22 and considering the first 5 or so years are impossible to remember, I really only have like 17 years of memories and already feel like that's been a long life. Realizing I'll live my entire life over again at least 4 more times before dying makes life seem like an eternity.
     
  12. Devil Dave

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    Yeah, you've got plenty of time ahead of you. Assuming you stay safe and healthy :wink:

    A similar thing I'm sick of hearing is:

    "Live your life to the fullest".

    It sounds like way too much hard work to me. Basically implying that I'm not doing enough with my free time. It's kind of the opposite of when people say "appreciate what you have". It's like saying you should never be satisfied and keep wanting more out of life, which is fine if that's how some people want to live, but it's not a bad thing to just be content if you don't want to put too much effort into pursuing new things..
     
  13. Kevin k

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    Don't do anything you aren't comfortable with - my mom every. Single. Time. I go to my boyfriend's.
     
  14. SemiCharmedLife

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    "Fake it til you make it" yeah that's really hard for someone with anxiety like me
     
  15. Mikey D

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    Work hard and do your best and everything will work out for you.