Were your friends uncomfortable after you came out?

I was more uncomfortable then they were! Friends are supportive and want what’s best for us! Mine had a few questions and were interested in knowing a gay man. I have a couple of younger family friends (college aged) and they have been the most supportive. Even though they are straight, they have gay friends. They are always sending me ideas for finding companionship and several times a week they just send a note to say hi.

In a nutshell, I thought my friends would treat me differently or they would abandon me; it was actually the opposite. They are supportive, they keep in better touch and they tell me they love me on a regular basis. I told the guys not to worry I wouldn’t hit on them... we actually had a humorous conversation and they said not to worry, they were comfortable around me and didn’t want our relationship to change!! Friends can be so supportive!!!

 

I've told three friends and they were cool with it, not uncomfortable at all. They are really chill people anyway though. One of them even asked me some questions about how it feels to sleep with a guy, I don't think he is gay though he was just curious.

They were all really supportive and happy I trusted them enough to share it with them too.

 

This was also a big fear of mine but honestly, it turned out completely unnecessary!!! No one has treated me any different and like 21zephyr said, I think I felt more uncomfortable than my friends. I'm actually a lot closer to some of my friends because I'm finally open and honest and I let people know what's going on in my (love) life which they appreciate after years of silence. Plus when I opened up about my feelings and troubles, they felt like they could tell me what they have been struggling with.

 

Nope, none of them were. I've never met anyone who had a bad reaction.

 

I don't think anyone really was, which is kind of remarkable given that I came out over 25 years ago when being out wasn't so nearly common. A lot of people were very curious in a way that I suspect would make some people uncomfortable, but I always just took it as them really wanting to understand.

 

One of my friends who moved hours away texted me saying it didn't did change anything, but I think she might be uncomfortable if I brought up gay things or made out with a guy. Just based on the way she's handled conversations. Less about her being a terrible person and more so about her needing time to get used to it.

Besides that, which may not even count, everybody has been super cool with it. Often my friends/brother say I can invite my bf along with us or ask hows he's doing

 

My best friend is Amish, can talk about anything except being LGBTQ. Friends from school, well they mostly just turned out to be pricks. Just feeling a bit lonely and sad right now. You all have been better friends than most people in my life.

 

Yeah, one was and it was really hurtful. He though that gay = attracted to every guy ever.

Everyone else though has been awesome.

 

Thank you! And don’t worry, people tend to be really accepting. I got so many hugs after coming out, it was great.

 

It’s funny sometimes who ends up being your support when you come out. This site has been the best support for me!!! I have two straight family friends who are younger than I am, but they have been so encouraging to me. They even want to take me to a gay bar even though they could pass as my sons! Nothing wrong with having us as your support until you meet someone in person to share your story.

By the was, your John Deere 3020 is one of my favorite tractors!!!!

 

I came out to a girl that used to be my best friend. I’ll call her S. We had been really close, but drifted apart after going to different high schools. Still, after discovering I was gay I still felt she was the only person I could really talk to, and we hadn’t talked for a couple of years. After I came out to S, she was surprised. I mean, all we had ever talked about were boys so I was pretty convincingly straight. When I first started questioning my sexuality, S and I were still friends. At that time, I fell for a girl (E) we were both friends with. I had told S at the time that I “liked someone I wasn’t supposed to like” referring to E. So, after coming out to S, she thought that when I said this years ago I was talking about her and not E. This is natural. Most people when they see a guy and a girl as friends, they assume it’s something more. Your friends are probably going to at least think about whether you’ve liked them romantically or not. It’s inevitable. However, it probably won’t be as big of a deal as you think. As long as you’re not flirting with them or anything, you’ll be good. You said they will probably accept you, so go off of that. They’re going to be more worried about making sure you’re comfortable rather than thinking about themselves. Good luck I’m rooting for you

 

The female friends I have told have been supportive But they have all been in relationships (with men) when I told them. I don't know if they would have thought I was hitting on them if they had been single, but probably not.

Every time I have come out to someone, I have explained my situation a little to them. How out am I? Why did it take me a while to tell them? Etc. Just some stuff I would like them to know. I think that when you take charge and explain your situation to them, they are going to empathize better with you and the chance of them thinking you are into them diminishes greatly. Of course that is just my theory.

I hope I explained myself well enough