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went on my first date ever, feel weird

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by no reality, Jul 12, 2018.

  1. no reality

    Regular Member

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    Went on a date with a girl I met on bumble just a few days ago, we went to see a movie and then hung out at taco bell just chatting for like an hour. I drove away feeling confused though, this girl has quite a few things in common with me, she likes to joke around and loves memes and doesn't get offended when I make bad jokes or say something awkward around her, It kind of feels like I'm talking to the female version of my best friend. I thought It would be perfect for me but I didn't get any of the butterflies or warm fuzzy feelings that you get when your attracted to someone. I don't want to be shallow but she's got like a bbw type of body and she's as tall as I am 5 foot 11, It kind of makes me uncomfortable which makes me feel bad because she's so nice and I don't want to reject her just because she's big and tall but I don't feel any attraction to her (which is worse considering I like bbw porn sometimes and I'm fat af too like 260 lbs). Maybe I'll learn to be attracted to her sometime? We're going on another date sometime next week and I'm looking forward to it but I'm still unsure what I should be feeling for her. We also live 50+ miles from each other so It makes it hard to plan dates and meet up so I'm not sure if it's worth it in the long run :disappointed_relieved:
    I just feel like a horrible person no matter which decision I consider at this point. I hope it gets better with this upcoming date but I just don't know what I am doing with this, I legit hate myself for putting myself in this situation though!
     
  2. Linning

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    Take a breath.

    You don't have to be into every person you go on a date with. I sure only end up attracted to extremely few girls I take on date with and it's okay, it doesn't have to be awkward.

    Attraction is important in a relationship so if you are not attracted to her, for whatever reason (porn isn't an indicator of real life attraction) don't pursue her in the long-term. Give it another date for sure, but if you still don't find yourself attracted to her then that's okay, tell her there is no romantic spark for you and stay friends.
     
    Sawyer likes this.
  3. no reality

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    Thanks for the advice, I'm probably going on a second date with her next week and we're going to a restaurant so I guess we'll be able to talk more and maybe I'll feel more comfortable doing that. I'm just really unsure of what I'm attracted to, I know porn isn't an indication of real life attraction but it's not like I can look at naked people in real life to gauge how attractive they are (I also like watching the really simplistic amateur porn because it looks more like "normal" people doing real life things) I know I can feel romantically attracted to someone because I felt it before and there's been a few people in my life that I can say I've truly loved (of course they never knew unfortunately) but it usually takes me a long time to build these feelings up and I don't want to string someone along because I don't feel anything yet.