Everything is now out in the open. After tea last night my husband asked if we were going to be okay. I've been telling him for months "course we are" but after the last few weeks I couldn't lie to him or myself any longer and I told him everything. He's been very understanding and supportive but also incredibly hurt and heartbroken which unfortunately couldn't be avoided despite me trying to figure out every way possible not to hurt him. I feel so relieved and at peace but upset I've hurt him so much. 20 years I've been struggling with this which has led to alcohol abuse, self harm and periods of being very mentally unwell. I always knew I was gay but tried to suppress it/ignore it and just told everyone that I was bi, thinking that was somehow easier (how wrong was I?!) I was never ashamed of the attraction I had towards women and never ever would be but I've gone through life worrying about what other people think, trying to make everyone happy and conforming to what I thought was expected of me. Looking back I have tried to come out so many times before but this was the right time for me and in some respects I'm glad I waited. It's been eye opening, inspirational and comforting reading through other peoples posts on here. I was never a freak or alone in what I was going though. I am normal and I'm fine just being me :eusa_danc
Congratualtions ShortButSweet! That took a lot of courage, especially since you knew you were going to hurt him. But at least now it's out in the open and you can both start to move forward again in your lives. I wish you all the best!