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Wednesday Evening

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by johndeere3020, Feb 10, 2019.

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  1. johndeere3020

    johndeere3020
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    So, I went to my first ever LGBT social event Wednesday evening! Weather was crappy so there wasn't a big crowd but every one was friendly and supportive.
    I sat down at the other end of the bar and ordered my Coke and asked the bar tender if this was where the Meet ** group was (not sure if it is allowed to state the name) she said yes the trivia group starts at eight. Well, apparently I became good in hiding during all the years I pretended to be straight, that was not the answer I was looking for.
    So, I sat there for 10 minutes listening to the five guys at the other end of the bar, mustered every ounce of courage, walked over and asked them if they were the happy hour Meet ** group. Can't say that I wasn't shaking on the inside, I can't say the bartender didn't have a funny look on her face...
    There was all ages from 25 to 50+ no one judged me, guess I could never before fathom that would be possible. A bit sad since, that I waited so f****** long to be myself.
    Dean
     
    #1 johndeere3020, Feb 10, 2019
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  2. Ronfindsit

    Ronfindsit
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    Congratulations!!! I'm happy for you, i could so relate to your post . lol I remember mine was a group just for over 50 and and i can sure identify with the shaking inside .. Lol. & in december and snowing, and only few there too.. Lol. But coming away knowing i had made the right choice for me coming out, and I've never been happier...
    But don't be sad or look at it as time lost, i kinda look at it as. "We all have to take the steps we take, to get to where we are. & as long as we satisfied where we are, that's what's important"
    So as long as your good where you are now, your moving in the way you need to.. Least that one way to look at it, but again congs man..
    Ron
     
    #2 Ronfindsit, Feb 10, 2019
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  3. Monraffe

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    I agree with Ron, this shouldn’t be about time lost. Everyone has things they feel they should have started sooner. I don’t mean to downplay this moment, it is a big deal that you came out and it will always be a major chapter in you life journey. But everyone has reasons for doing the things they did in the past. I think it’s best to look at it for what it is - you simply aren’t that person anymore and the person you are becoming by taking this important first step is more in line with who you are today. And that is a comforting thought. :slight_smile:
     
    #3 Monraffe, Feb 10, 2019
    Last edited: Feb 10, 2019
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  4. brainwashed

    brainwashed
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    Good job Dean. Get out there and do all kinds of events. Gay Pride events in the summer are a hoot. A few gin and tonics will get you out on the dance floor.

    Seriously I've found one of the best way to progress, is per SiennaFire or Greatwhales advice, "make yourself venerable." I even mustered the courage to go to a gay bath - actually multiple ones. No sex but a real learning experience. My new gay friends and I are still laughing at my experiences at "the baths."
     
    #4 brainwashed, Feb 10, 2019
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  5. johndeere3020

    johndeere3020
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    AHH, not sure if I would be that brave, it might take a LOT of Scotch! Not sure a 55 gallon barrel can be purchased in our local bottle shop! Any how I think the last of the baths was raided and closed in St. Paul a few years back. I have always wanted to explore Boystown in Chicago, maybe someday I'll get the chance.
    Dean
     
    #5 johndeere3020, Feb 10, 2019
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  6. Rade

    Rade
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    Congratulations, how empowering, I am really pleased for you....
     
    #6 Rade, Feb 11, 2019
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  7. BMC77

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    Bad idea drinking so much Scotch!

    Scotch is expensive. Instead, you should use a 55 gallon barrel of cheap gin.

    LOL
     
    #7 BMC77, Feb 11, 2019
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  8. johndeere3020

    johndeere3020
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    The Scotch thing was my youth, it took all the pain away for a few hours. I finally drank so much and one night got so sick to this day I cant even smell an empty bottle without gagging!
     
    #8 johndeere3020, Feb 11, 2019
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  9. quebec

    quebec
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    Dean.....So very happy for you! I so wish that my life's path would have allowed me to do what you have. However, I think I've made the best decisions that I can and I am happy with where I'm at now. So yeah...go out and have a great time!
    .....David :gay_pride_flag:
     
    #9 quebec, Feb 11, 2019
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  10. Nickw

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    Happy for you man. I remember my first time out with the "boys" and how it was a combination of panic and elation. Well done!
     
    #10 Nickw, Feb 11, 2019
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  11. johndeere3020

    johndeere3020
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    Oh David I've had enough regrets for both of us times 10. You had something I will never get to experience, a boyfriend who, I truly believe in my heart you will see again someday. Your time here isn't done, you have offered an ear and advice to so many people here on EC, including myself....Thank You!!!!!!
     
    #11 johndeere3020, Feb 12, 2019
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  12. Dionysios

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    Such a major milestone! Well done! Congrats! Going to such an event, for the first time, can be a bit scary. So glad you didn't give up. It must have been great meeting other guys like yourself. I hope to go to my first social in May. You give me confidence!

    I trust this will be the first of many such occasions I hope you make a lot of good friends!
     
    #12 Dionysios, Feb 12, 2019
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  13. brainwashed

    brainwashed
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    Oh a Scotch man. I generally do not like Scotch. Wouldn't you know it though, I have acquired a pallet for high end Scotch.

    Bravery 101 mini lecture.
    I hit a tipping point about two years ago. I am not afraid of anything gay while in public. I basically tell myself, if person x does not like who I am, thats THEIR PROBLEM not mine.
     
    #13 brainwashed, Feb 12, 2019
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  14. BMC77

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    I've been far from a regular whiskey drinker. But I remember trying small sampler bottles of some big name Scotch brands (ones I probably remembered from ads in The New Yorker or The Atlantic ca. 1990). I was frankly underwhelmed--it was just another whiskey as far as I was concerned, except, unlike some other name brands, the price (at least on sampler bottles) was higher.

    Then...I had a chance to try a Scotch with a pronounced smoky quality. Wow! That stuff was good! It was also painfully expensive (even though the brand was, apparently, one of the cheaper/more "value" brands). Maybe it's a good thing it's expensive--the price tends to discourage over indulging.

    I liked another high end Scotch. I'm curious about others--but, at this point, the only way I'll sample is if someone is serving it, which isn't likely to happen (no real social life, plus the events I do go to probably are cost conscious. One I went to in late 2018 was in a very nice with a view--that house would be $$$$ on the local market. I noticed that one of the wines being served was Two Buck Chuck!).
     
    #14 BMC77, Feb 12, 2019
  15. Jakebusman

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    There's a local LGBT center bowling event and of the month might be going
     
    #15 Jakebusman, Feb 13, 2019
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  16. Dionysios

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    Good luck! The event sounds like fun. I enjoy bowling, though my swing is terrible. I usually plop the ball down, causing it to veer this way and that. Alas, I won't be winning any trophies in the near future. *chuckle*
     
    #16 Dionysios, Feb 13, 2019
  17. Jakebusman

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    This is my 1st LGBT event in lil nervous
     
    #17 Jakebusman, Feb 13, 2019
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  18. Rade

    Rade
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    It will be fine Jake, good luck....
     
    #18 Rade, Feb 13, 2019
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  19. Dionysios

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    Please don't be!!! Where you are, all the guys you meet were once in the same place. Be yourself and enjoy. When I go to places, I try to mental prepare myself. I tell myself, "I'm going to have a good time no matter what!" Despite havoc around me, I generally do! It sounds crazy, but if you prepare yourself to have a rotten time, that too will occur. Just stay positive! Let us know how it goes. Good luck!
     
    #19 Dionysios, Feb 13, 2019
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  20. nerdbrain

    nerdbrain
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    All you guys bowling and drinking scotch -- might as well stay straight!
     
    #20 nerdbrain, Feb 13, 2019
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