I find myself in a very strange situation, utterly confused and, most likely, unconsciously victim of peer pressure. My head's a mess, and I would like a few extra opinions about this. I guess I'll start from what triggered this. Last sunday my cousin passed away. I found her dead, surrounded by all manners of pills, cigarrettes and bottles. It was her birthday, too. We were very, very close, and I'm still struggling to keep a cool head. What followed that day was, for lack of a better word, a complete clusterfuck of emotions in my head. I wouldn't stop shaking until Tuesday, and I still cant help but need to lay down every now and then. My family is devastated, my aunt in particular is absolutely mentally wrecked, and my mother isn't that much better. I guess the only reason why I'm still standing is because, as the only man in the family, I see it as my duty to stay strong for them. But that is not why I'm here, writing this. You see, after being absent to university all week, I gathered up courage and attended on Friday. As expected, nobody seemed to care about what happened, and I carried on, feeling dead inside. I took notes as usual, but didn't talk at all. I did notice one of the girls throwing glances at me, but I made nothing of it. Then, as we're leaving, that girl came up to me and asked what was wrong. I told her what had happened, and she seemed legitimately concerned, something I didn't expect at all from anyone in that class. She said she noticed I was acting strange, and was worried about me. And, I don't know. I think that little act of kindness woke something up in me. I haven't had even a crush for three years now, and suddenly this girl caught me with my guard down. I don't understand what's happening, and I don't want to get myself into something I may regret later. One of my friends is convinced that I like her, but do I? We've spent three years in the same class, and I never felt a thing for her. We barely ever talked. Now she pulls this when I'm weak, and suddenly I like her? I don't understand it. Two weeks ago I couldn't have cared less, and now every time I think of her I feel weird. I know this may just be a product of my devastated state of mind, and that it may go away, but my friends seem very adamant about this. I trust their judgment, but I'd like a second opinion. I know this may sound silly, but could you guys help me figure out what's going on in my head?
