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Watching gay "adult films" when trying to repress the gay feelings when younger.

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by TanMan, Oct 17, 2016.

  1. TanMan

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    Hey everyone, I just had a curious question and I would like to know if any other gay men have had this issue...

    When I began to realize that I was gay around 7th grade, I always tried to repress the part of actually coming to terms with it. It wasn't until a couple months ago when I told myself that this wasn't just a phase, and that I am gay and that it's okay. Now I'm happier than ever. However, even though I tried to repress it, I would always watch gay porn. To me, it was just better than what most "straight guys watch." Did anyone else watch gay porn even when they tried to repress the feelings, or even try to tell yourself that you were straight?
     
    #1 TanMan, Oct 17, 2016
    Last edited: Oct 17, 2016
  2. JonSomebody

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    I'm a little confused because maybe I misread or misunderstood what you were saying in your post. I can't seem to comprehend with the fact of watching gay porn to repress my feelings for men??? Since the definition of the word "repress" is basically to keep under wraps/control or suppress (desires, feelings, etc.). Therefore, for me...to watch gay porn did nothing for me but enhanced those feelings to be with a guy not turn me off from being with one. Again..for me...if I am trying to repress my feelings about being gay...I would definitely stay away from gay porn. Again..if I misunderstood what you were saying ...please accept my apologies for misunderstanding you.
     
  3. faustian1

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    Maybe TanMan meant that he get's his gay jollies in secret with gay porn, thereby repressing urges to "go public" with it.

    Otherwise, I'm with you Jon. If I watch gay porn for a few minutes, the feeling I get isn't exactly "repressed" or one of "diminished interest." :eek:
     
  4. TanMan

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    Lol, definitely misunderstood what I was asking, and I definitely wrote that wrong. What I really mean is that when I was younger, I was ashamed of having these feelings; feelings for the same sex. However, I was like addicted to watching gay porn. I would always feel so guilt after doing it. I just wanted to know if anyone else was like that. Does that make sense what I'm asking? Sorry for making it sound weird lol.
     
  5. faustian1

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    That makes perfect sense. Most especially that nagging question, "want(ing) to know if anyone else was like that."

    It is a bit easier with the internet. Thousands of examples are readily available, in places like EC. In 1975, way back, it really was a question. At a young age, it's very easy to think that you're the only one in the universe with this "problem."

    Shame about those attractions is very normal, in a society that as negative messages about homosexuality. Obviously, you figured out eventually that you weren't alone, in fact quite the opposite.
     
  6. ABeautifulMind

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    Yea, I think most guy that are attracted to men, whether bi or gay or whatever, goes through that when they are younger... I am pretty sure it is a very common occurrence...

    The question is how do you feel now? Because as a kid it really is normal, as an adult you should be trying to stop feeling shame or other negative thoughts related to being attracted to men... Whether through your own positive reinforcement methods, or through therapy, or through any number of other methods I am sure exist...

    A good start is posting about it here on EC :wink:
     
  7. falconfalcon

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    Its not uncommon at all, a young girl just talked about having the exacty same problem yesterday. Its hard if you dont have an unhealthy outlet, you naturally willl seek any outlet... Dont worry about it- just be glad you're over that stage and ready to be out and accepting, and healthy :slight_smile: :slight_smile:
     
    #7 falconfalcon, Oct 18, 2016
    Last edited: Oct 18, 2016
  8. tyro

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    When i was younger i was curious about porn. Once i found a website it defaulted to straight porn so i watched that. I was really scared of thinking i was attracted to guys so i only watched POV porn so i didnt see the guy. I watch both gay and straight porn now
     
  9. johndeere3020

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    TanMan, yes, I can def relate to every thing you posted!
     
  10. I'm gay

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    Hey Tanman,

    I grew up before the Internet. I was able to get a playboy or two but nothing gay until I found a copy of The Joy of Sex in my sister's bedroom. I stole it. There was like two pages devoted to gay and it was my only "porn" I had. It's not really porn, but there were two illustrations. Compared to what I had, the Internet is a gay boy's dream. But yeah, porn is normal and common. Too much isn't healthy, but that's true of most things.
     
  11. mangotree

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    At that age, I only had 33.6k dialup on a noisy rural phone line, so there was no "watching" porn.
    I did look at photos though ... initially only straight ones with hot guys in them, and then later on (as I got braver) naked guys on their own, and then eventually naked guys together and so on ...