1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Watching a mother "script" her possible gay son

Discussion in 'For Parents and Family Members of LGBT People' started by brainwashed, Oct 22, 2017.

  1. johndeere3020

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 20, 2016
    Messages:
    1,104
    Likes Received:
    426
    Location:
    Minnesota
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    When I was young I was always dressed in blue jeans, I never remember asking to wear shorts but I do remember dad stating many times that "boys don't wear shorts" only girls do. Maybe he was afraid I would grow up to be part queer?

    Dean
     
  2. 21zephyr

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2018
    Messages:
    216
    Likes Received:
    135
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I remember when I was 9 or 10 and I would kiss my dad good night- my mother told me I couldn’t do that anymore because that’s what fairies do. I had no idea what the hell she was talking about, but I was so sad I couldn’t do that anymore.

    Well, guess what I ended up being gay, so screw you, Mom.
     
    Naters2000 likes this.
  3. brainwashed

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2014
    Messages:
    2,141
    Likes Received:
    494
    Location:
    Phoenix, AZ
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Sounds like your parents were proactively homophobic.
     
  4. brainwashed

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2014
    Messages:
    2,141
    Likes Received:
    494
    Location:
    Phoenix, AZ
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Lol, you are being really nice to your mom. I call mine bitch and whore. On the low side I yell out to her (she's dead) ~"if you would have kept your legs together (when dad came calling) I wouldn't have been born. Whore!"

    But then I go into "their room" (their bedroom I keep in my house) and see some of her things that remind me how much I loved her......I tear up. (the room is and always has been a guest room, but it has mementos that belonged to them. )
     
  5. brainwashed

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2014
    Messages:
    2,141
    Likes Received:
    494
    Location:
    Phoenix, AZ
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Lol, part 2. You are being incredibly nice to your mom. I actually hatched a scheme to go the cemetery and dig up her ashes so I could put them in the toilet and shit on them - flush.

    Needless to say I have not executed my plan.
     
    BiBarefeet likes this.
  6. brainwashed

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2014
    Messages:
    2,141
    Likes Received:
    494
    Location:
    Phoenix, AZ
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Part 3. I think you and me (yes I know I'm supposed to use I, but Im feeling rebellious) are both young boys and we are still fighting with our respective moms.
     
  7. MzMrAlexa

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 22, 2017
    Messages:
    123
    Likes Received:
    65
    Location:
    South Central North Carolina, USA
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Family only
    As a parent you try to do what you believe is right, based on what you know and have available at the time, or at least that is what we should all strive to do, but that doesn't mean that you always make the best choices just like everything else in life and when it comes right down to it what might help one child to achieve could have the exact opposite effect on another. Could the mother have been "Homophobic"? Perhaps. Or it could be that she was just being protective in wanting her Son to understand the difference so he wouldn't get harassed at school etc.

    When my Son was three or four he had long hair and looked slightly effeminate. After several older women came up to me and said what a beautiful Daughter I had I got him a shorter "Boy" haircut. As a small child he didn't really care about his haircut, but the potential ramifications of being called a gender he didn't identify as could be damaging in many ways.

    I see an awful lot of people who do all kinds of things and condone all kinds of behaviors in their children by saying "it's what they want" or "let the child decide". IMO that is only correct to a degree. Do we let children Vote? Or give them loaded guns to play with?... No, of course not! They lack the maturity and knowledge to do those things. Is Gender or Orientation any different? I got my Son "Boy Things" and my Daughter "Girl Things" and taught them the norms of their anatomical gender, and explained the difference in ways they could process and understand, and if they wanted to do something that might cause them social issues I explained that to them and let them decide once they could adequately understand and process the the possibilities of their choices. Homophobic, Not at all.. I just wanted to them to understand balance because far too many kids don't, they are given choice without knowledge and maturity and then don't understand why when the effects of those choices are negative and often don't have the emotional tools to deal with them. So yes, we need to let our children decide, but we also need to help them to learn so they can do so wisely and hopefully without any un-necessary trauma or hang-ups in the process. Just my thoughts.
     
    Jackie Ray likes this.
  8. Love4Ever

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 4, 2018
    Messages:
    2,696
    Likes Received:
    1,219
    Location:
    US
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    IKR? That's terrible. Reminds me of a story I was told by a friend where a guy kept telling his INFANT son to, "not be a sissy"? Just out of the blue, for no reason. A baby. I was shocked.
     
    gravechild likes this.
  9. Love4Ever

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 4, 2018
    Messages:
    2,696
    Likes Received:
    1,219
    Location:
    US
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I respectfully disagree. I realize the mother probably believed she was protecting her child, but denying someone the ability to be who they are? I can't agree with that. If I ever have children you better believe I would do anything to protect them, but part of protecting them is protecting their heart IMHO. I don't want them to grow up ashamed. And the world will never change if we keep bowing to the status quo. The world is not always a kind place it's true, but part of life is teaching your kids how to be okay with the idea that they have to love themselves even if others don't.
     
  10. Love4Ever

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 4, 2018
    Messages:
    2,696
    Likes Received:
    1,219
    Location:
    US
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    This stuff makes me want to cry.