1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Watching a mother "script" her possible gay son

Discussion in 'For Parents and Family Members of LGBT People' started by brainwashed, Oct 22, 2017.

  1. brainwashed

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2014
    Messages:
    1,650
    Likes Received:
    60
    Location:
    Phoenix, AZ
    Gender:
    Male
    At a yard sale yesterday. Met an extended family with young lady who had two sons, age 7 and 5. The 7 year old ran his hands on everything, lightly touching, scanning. It's like he was feeling the texture or "energy" within each innate object he touched. He got to the women's scarves, which were for sale, and went wild. He was holding them up admiring them and if my memory serves me correctly putting one or two around the back of his neck. .

    The mom runs up, grabs the scarves out of his young hands and in a stern voice, says,"your'll a boy". She said "your a boy" a couple time more during my observations.

    That a way mom. Wonder where mom learned her gender norms. They were Hispanic, thus probably Catholic. If my observations and assumptions are correct, lets hum the disco song for which I cannot remember the title - I'm not into disco. "Do a little hate, get down tonight, do a little hate, get down tonight!, da, da, da, da.....get down tonight!"
     
  2. HM03

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2013
    Messages:
    6,429
    Likes Received:
    15
    Location:
    Canader
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    All but family
    Knowing my parents as they are now, they are surprisingly cool and supportive with all my interests, regardless of "what gender they were for".

    Kinda funny yet sad how something simple like a scarf can be such a big deal to some people.
     
    PotatoPotato and Wesley007 like this.
  3. brainwashed

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2014
    Messages:
    1,650
    Likes Received:
    60
    Location:
    Phoenix, AZ
    Gender:
    Male
    Per my limited observation time, the 7 year old boy was semi effeminate. Mind you I'm not an expert in this area at all.
     
  4. gravechild

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2013
    Messages:
    8,860
    Likes Received:
    43
    Gender:
    Androgyne
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I'm pretty sure he's aware he's a boy...
     
    PotatoPotato and Lipstick Leuger like this.
  5. brainwashed

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2014
    Messages:
    1,650
    Likes Received:
    60
    Location:
    Phoenix, AZ
    Gender:
    Male
    It was interesting how the mother exhibited her disgust. That was one of two main behavioral traits I picked up on.
     
    PotatoPotato likes this.
  6. looking for me

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2014
    Messages:
    6,024
    Likes Received:
    411
    Location:
    on the Rock, Newfoundland and Labrador
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    honestly? i can relate, the shaming for a boy to like or enjoy in any way a feminine thing. i hope this kid can keep that spark, and be as fabulous as he wants to be.
     
    #6 looking for me, Oct 24, 2017
    Last edited: Oct 24, 2017
  7. pinkpanther

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2015
    Messages:
    1,217
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Stockholm
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Thb, I kinda understand the kid, scarves are soft and pretty and gentle and lovely and so welcoming. The first thing that comes to mind when I touch them is to wrap myself in them.
     
  8. brainwashed

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2014
    Messages:
    1,650
    Likes Received:
    60
    Location:
    Phoenix, AZ
    Gender:
    Male
    Oh he had the spark, I saw it on his face. A beautiful human being. I literally could have punched the mom when she scripted him.
     
  9. brainwashed

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2014
    Messages:
    1,650
    Likes Received:
    60
    Location:
    Phoenix, AZ
    Gender:
    Male
    Thats what he did. Wrap himself in it. Then the mom came along and told him ~"those are scarfs, there for women, your a boy, put them down."

    The BIG CLUE was how the mom said, "your'll a boy" like she was ready for it. Like she's been battling his liking for girl things.

    Where did the mom who was actually quite young, learn the behavior "boy things" and "girl things" Could it be from the Catholic Church?
     
    Wesley007 likes this.
  10. Mr Medusa

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2017
    Messages:
    31
    Likes Received:
    10
    Location:
    Hong Kong
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I don't necessarily think it's the Catholicism - I'm an ex-Catholic and it depends on how strict their church is but as far as I know strict gender norms aren't as enforced in Catholicism as they are in other religions. It could just be general conservatism, cultural gender norms (you said they were Hispanic) or just societal conditioning in general. It could also be a generational gap.

    But yeah - regardless of whether he's gay or trans or just a kid, she's not going to pray the effeminacy away and it won't do him any good. My 13 year old brother sometimes shows similar mannerisms, mainly hugging people a lot and being physically affectionate, and if anyone pulled that shit with him I'd deck them.

    Also scarves are awesome. Deal with it. lol
     
  11. Naters2000

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2017
    Messages:
    77
    Likes Received:
    9
    Location:
    Colorado Springs
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    That mother really needs to check it. For one, scarves are incredible, and two, she can't change who her kid is. It just boggles me that people are so ignorant over the smallest things, like scarves. It's just a long piece of fabric that's meant to keep your neck warm. That fact that she is saying that "they are for girls" is just pathetic.

    (I love my scarves. They are so warm and soft!!)
     
    Wesley007 likes this.
  12. Chiroptera

    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Mar 11, 2014
    Messages:
    4,919
    Likes Received:
    100
    Location:
    Brazil
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Unfortunately, this isn't uncommon. That's why we need to educate people, straight or LGBT, to better understand what it means to be trans/gay/lesbian/bi, removing misconceptions like the idea that we can choose to be X or Y, or that parents can teach their kids to be straight or not.

    I really believe the world is slowly getting better, so, let's keep up with our fight for equality so we can have a future where cases like this are going to be the exception, not the rule. :slight_smile:
     
  13. Glitters

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2017
    Messages:
    83
    Likes Received:
    17
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Well, I remember being told similar things throughout my life, even as an adult, but, I think they just might be telling their son that because they think their son doesn't know those items are usually worn by girls.
     
  14. Loves books

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 5, 2017
    Messages:
    367
    Likes Received:
    28
    Location:
    Ireland
    My dad was always in to girl jobs and boy jobs. I don't remember my mother having an opinion one way or another but for some reasons I always got stuck with barbies while my brother had gameboys and a PlayStation. I don't think any kid should get in a trouble for liking what they like.
     
    Wesley007 likes this.
  15. Wesley007

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2017
    Messages:
    231
    Likes Received:
    29
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Yeah i can relate when i bought a bottle of old spice shampoo my mom went ape and was like goddamnit you are a girl a girl does not LIKE MEN THINGS and shouted at me when we got home for 3 hours. :/ my daughter is a freak she wants to be a boy she says other things but i just wanted to vent a little. Sorry.