So I know this is a LBGT forum, and this isn’t really a LGBT matter, but it’s the only place I know to go to. I am a female bisexual, this situation just happened to be with a man. I guess I just need to type out my thoughts and get some feedback. I had my first date on Saturday night with this guy I had been talking to online. We had been talking for a while and he was always very sweet and romantic and seemed like a great guy. I was so excited to finally meet him. But the date was really weird and I keep playing it back in my head and something about it just seems wrong. He came to pick me up, I let him in, and right away he grabbed me and started kissing me. We had talked dirty and sexted before, but this wasn’t romantic or expected. He then called me a dirty whore and grabbed my throat really hard, to the point where it still hurts and has bruises. He shoved me down, pulled my panties off, and started having sex with me. He also bit my chest pretty hard, I have teeth marks that seem kinda deep. I never at any point said no or protested in anyway even though I felt weird, because I felt like I owed him. It didn’t really feel good to me, but it didn’t necessarily hurt either. After he came in me he got up and said ‘okay let’s go to dinner’. We went to dinner and it was awkward. He wouldn’t look at me and we didn’t really talk at all. Then he got a text that he had to go and I never heard from him again. I started sobbing as soon as I got back and took a really long hot shower because I felt dirty and used. I felt like he never really liked me and only used me for sex, and that he was right and I am just a dirty whore. My mind was reeling for a while and I couldn’t really process what had happened, I just felt numb and like everything was spinning around me for the next couple days. Tonight as I was thinking about it, it suddenly hit me, was is rape? I mean, I did want to sleep with him, not at that moment, but at some point in the future I was planning on it. I never stopped him or told him I didn’t want to. I lead him on. I still went to dinner with him afterwards. So it’s perfectly conceivable that he had no idea there was anything wrong with the situation. But then why do I feel like this? Why do I feel so dirty and disgusting and used?