Hi there, I messaged here a couple months ago and hoping you guys could help. I fancy this girl and she knows i am gay cuz i came out to her. Since then we have never again spoken about my sexuality and i really dont know hers. I know she had a bf in the past but that is it, i know nothing more Someone gave me a lovely advice to give space and “that i might me pleased with what develops” and it is accurate. We hang out regularily and a lot of the time 1-2-1 and im super happy with anticipation when we meet cuz we get along so well. The issue is i feel the relationship is unbalanced because i dont know anything about her preferences and i might be scared to ask… i never been in a relationship so all this feels exciting but also scary .. what should i do i feel like i want to try and move things forward but im terrified as i dont want to feel like a creep so feeling stuck in a painful place… help!!
I suppose it depends on how long you've been friends, and how close you are in other regards. Do you confide in one another? Has she ever told you anything personal, even something small? Likewise, have you shared a fair bit about yourself? It is a bit tricky to know how to tell someone you want to know more about them without being forthright. It would be nice if we could be more forthright all the time, but social convention sometimes requires us to approach things with more tact--which is great when we're dealing with sensitive topics, but it can make it a struggle to forge deeper, more meaningful bonds with others. Of course, you could be forthright by saying something like, "You've been such a good friend to me; I'd like to do the same" or say something about how she knows this and that about you, but you feel bad for knowing so little. You can follow it up by saying you want to know more about her, because you consider her a good friend. I know that seems awkward. I'd have trouble doing it, too. But in cases like this, it might be your best bet.
Hi @CL1990 This is a tricky situation and you’ve been given some good advice by @BiGemini87 above. The only other thought that occurs to me is to mention LGBT related things, news stories for example, and see how she reacts. You mention that you spend a lot of time together, so if there a pride event near you this summer, you could mention wanting to go along and ask if she would be interested in coming too. Being direct as above, may be the only way to get a firm answer, but an indirect approach might give you some clues.
You’ve been given great advice already here. you could also maybe bring up conversations about celebrities who are part of the LGBTQ community to gear the topic that way and then ask what her personal thoughts are and just say “I’m presuming you are straight” or something similar. That will set the ball rolling in finding more about her sexuality.
I guess if you want to try and bring up the subject but in a slightly more indirect way you could ask questions like if she is single? (Assuming this is something you dont know for sure) or if there is anyone she has her eye on? or you could ask what her type is just generally and see how the conversation progresses.
