I've accepted myself as at the very least bi with mostly preference for guys if not straight up gay. I'm feeling more and more comfortable and would like to come out to my grandma whose basically my mom due to raising me my entire life ect ect. However I'm afraid of her being upset or bit disgusted and scared for my well being. She loves me whole heartedly I know that much and she doesn't look down upon LGBT due to being a jehovah witness/Christian and in her mind only god can judge us and god loves all of us no matter what. But she also disapproves of it in a sense cause in her mind god frowns upon LGBT but she doesn't outright hate them. I remember having a talk with her years ago about "what if I told you I was gay" and she seemed accepting but completely terrified on my behalf because to her the world is a cruel cruel place and she doesn't want to see me get hurt or have a harsh and difficult life. To her the world will crap on you if your gay and make your life a living hell and she said she doesn't want that for me. So I'm not siren of she'd accept me being bi/gay and be terrified for my wellbeing. Which is somehow worse for me cause I don't want her worrying about me more then she is already. Like I said my mom isn't in my life much due to not wanting me when she had me and my step dads a bit on the eh side with me but says he loves me and has proven it at times. Anyhow I'm thinking of holding off on telling her but it gets so hard and I hate hiding things from her but at the same time I'm not sure how'd she'd take the news and I would hate making her worry about me even more.
