Venting Forum

Attraction is mostly a frickin' curse...

'Tis all(for now).

 

Lol, so I'd really like to be more active in my campus's LGBT community but there are people I know who went to my high school who don't know and I don't want them finding out and gossiping until I'm out on my own soooo, yeah. My father is still having a hard time with this and he tells me to keep quiet about everything and won't talk to me about it and wants it to all just disappear. Unfortunately that's not the way I work. I have been actively helping the support group, and it's been great, but still, I can't move on with the things I want to do in life. Vent over

 

I don't even know where to begin.

I met a girl online when I was around 12 years old we would talk every summer for several hours at a time on IM since our time zones were so different we were not able to talk during the school year. Well I contacted her two years ago and we started talking and since we are older now and out of school we kept that connection going. In March of 2014 we began dating and started a long distance relationship. We both promised to meet each other as soon as we had the money. Everytime I suggested we meet up there was an excuse and then certain things just started not to add up. I came up with a way for us to meet each other and everything would be paid for neither of us would need money for plane tickets or for dates or anything we did while we were together (there were several other advantages too as she would've gotten paid for agreeing to meet with me). However after I did all the work to get this put together for us so we can finally try to have a real relationship...I get a big slap in the face saying never to contact her again. It's frustrating we've known each other forever and I finally found a way for us to meet and apparently I'm not worth the two hours of her time just to see who I've been with all this time. I feel like she pretty much just said f everything we have been through im done because you found a way to meet me and now I don't have a good enough excuse as to why I can't do it

 

Dang, sorry to hear that mobrien. That really sucks, but you know, it'll be alright and you'll get to move on from it. There's plenty of other opportunity ahead, just keep looking forward and try to find better things for your life. You've got this !

 

Dysphoria is coming for me, and it's going to be brutal this time. I know it. I can feel it. It's time like this where I really want to be cis and forget what this kind of pain is like. To make things worse, I'm entangled in that mess of telling myself it's weak to cry and I need to man up and the other side telling me it's okay to be vulnerable.

This. Fucking. SUCKS.

 

EEEEEEEEEEE, AAAAAAAAAAAARRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHH, BLRRRRBLRRRBLBRLRRRRR, @!&*%&*%^!!!!

Okay, I'm done venting.

 

I came out to my mom last night. She SEEMED to take it okay, but I didn't trust it. She said she needed to do research (promising in itself), except I suspected the "research' she was wanting to do. And it was confirmed late last night when she FB messaged me all the articles she could find telling me what God thinks.

Even though I expected it I'm still just frustrated and upset because I know there is no reasoning with them (my family) about it. They're not going to budge in their beliefs, and neither am I.

 

Here's my vent

 

Here is a vent

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

 

My neck hurts for some reason and it makes it hurt whenever I swallow. Not sure why, but it's happened before Must have something to do with the position I sleep in or something...

LGBT related, my friend who was dumped is only starting to get over the guy...I just don't want her to think that I'm now going to be her boyfriend. Because um...sorta closeted here...

 

I really want to tell my tutor to sod off, but I have to be in his tutor group for a whole year, so that's not an option :/

 

Reading this, and I come across this as the first post.
Not disappointed.

Attraction's a bitch. It's as useful as a vestigial organ, to me.

 

It really is a pain in the ass. It's always exactly what I can't have. My heart is an asshole.

 

and my asshole is a heart.

 

Aww mobrien1993, I feel sorry for you. =( How someone can do such a thing.. =\ Take care. (*hug*)

 

I am very active on my campus concerning the LGBT causes. We are four people and we manage a students LGBTQIA association (&&&)
We're trying to be known to the students and we participate in many academic events. Moreover, tomorrow, opens the first gay bar in the University town! It's really historic! The LGBT visibility expands and we are very proud! ride:

 

My head is getting confused. I don’t know what to believe, what to think. Things were so bad at my first placement. I was told I was borderline passing. Everyone seemed to think I was struggling. Then I started my second placement and things seemed to get better. But then yesterday I had such an awful day that it felt like I was back at square 1, like I was destined to fail. And then I had a job interview today and even though I didn’t get it, I got really positive feedback.

So now my head is a mess.

I just do not understand. Am I any good at this or not? Everything is so conflicting!!!

 

All the shit that happens in the world and people still believe there is a god?! He could be real but if he is.. He's a very fucked up one!

 

I need to find a new place for my laptop, except I need a DESK first. My family members are always hovering around the area where I have my computer, so I can't browse this site near them. It legitimately makes me so livid. I want to punch a hole in the wall because of how frustrated I am.