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Unsure of gender identity

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by ami5000, Jul 21, 2020.

  1. ami5000

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    Hi everyone,

    I was assigned make at birth but I have been wondering about my gender identity for a several years now. I have a much more feminine personality and I don't feel comfortable or like I belong with groups of men. If I had to choose between being a man or a woman, I would choose a woman. However, when I think about myself as a trans woman it doesn't quite seem right. I also have body image issues, and occasionally am uncomfortable with aspects of my body, but I don't feel strong dysphoria about it. I have been wondering if another gender identity might fit me better. I was trying to find information about different gender identities along the spectrum (such as demigirl, genderfluid, etc), and I was wondering if anyone knew of any good resources to learn about those, or had any advice or perspective. Thank you so much!
     
  2. ami5000

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    *male not make... Autocorrect :sweat_smile:
     
  3. Hawk

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    There’s many men who hang around women, and women who hang around men due to similar interests. However, I'm not aware of masculine equivalent terms, but for example, many Butch women have male interests/personality and are still female, and hang around with the guys. I wouldn’t associate personality to gender identity.

    What body issues do you have with your body? More information would be helpful here if you feel comfortable saying.

    Do you feel like a woman, or do you feel feminine? There are plenty of people who don’t fit neatly into the binary male or binary female box. Perhaps you’re a feminine man. How does that sit with you?
     
  4. ami5000

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    Thank you so much for your response! Sorry it took me a few days to reflect.

    I have considered that I could just be a feminine man. I don't really feel comfortable with the label "man," but it's hard for me to tell if it's because I've had a lot of negative experiences with men in my life or if it's because I truly don't belong in the group.

    My body issues can change a lot from day to day. I generally don't like having body hair. Facial hair bothers me some days and some days I'm neutral about it. Some days I wish I had female genitals and a female chest, and some days I feel neutral/accepting about having male parts.

    I guess I feel like the label "woman" feels better to me than the label "man," but I having a tough time figuring out exactly what I want, and if it can be achieved while still identifying as a "man" or if I need to identify as something else.
     
  5. Hawk

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    I understand that having a label may help with the feeling of belonging, but do you think if you did what made you happy, whether that be wearing feminine clothes, makeup, etc. whatever makes you comfortable, start there and let things fall in place.

    However, if you feel like you need a label, how does transfeminine sound? You also don’t have to stick to one label forever either, if in time you feel transfeminine doesn’t fit, or non-binary or trans woman fits better, you can always change it if something doesn’t feel right.
     
  6. ami5000

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    Thank you again! I spent a lot of time reflecting on it, and I feel like in some situations I would like to wear more feminine clothing and be more feminine in general. I don't really have much interest right now in make-up, but I understand that not all people do.

    I feel a bit confused because there are some situations where I don't really care about my gender presentation, and as long as I am not treated in a hyper masculine manner, I don't really feel that uncomfortable as I am. It seems to depend on the situation for me. I hardly ever encounter situations where I feel masculine, but there are situations where I feel neutral. I'm not sure if this is a possible sign that I might be gender fluid (between feminine and some sort of non-binary identity).

    I feel like on my case, a label would help. I feel like I might not need to make a lot of physical changes, but a mental shift and self-understanding would help to resolve my internal confusion a lot. I'm not totally sure that I understand the label transfeminine. From my Google search it seems to refer to nonbinary people who identify more as feminine than other genders. Is that correct?
     
  7. Hawk

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    Essentially, yes. Transfeminine is identifying as feminine but not female. Whereas a Trans Woman is female. You may also want to look into non-conforming as well.

    I would honestly just experiment with how you want to be perceived, what makes you feel good, and go from there. And if you find one label doesn’t suit you, or you outgrow a label, there’s nothing wrong with changing it if you think something fits better if you need a label.
     
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  8. ami5000

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    Thank you! I really appreciate it and I think I have a bit of a better idea of how to explore my gender identity now!