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Underwhelming

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by AAnonymouss, May 30, 2017.

  1. AAnonymouss

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    Hey. I'm new to this website and not even sure if this was the right place.

    I recently decided as a bi male to delve into the world of anal masturbation. I don't have any dildos or cucumbers and so I used a drum stick, it was smooth, lubed, and everthing. Over all it went well. But I just felt a little flat afterwards. Like... "What have I done" no one apart from a few friends know that I'm bi, and it just felt a little underwhelming, it wasn't any better from the orgasms I usually get...

    To be honest it just felt like I was masturbating while needing to go to the loo... any tips/advice for me...?
     
  2. smurf

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    The "What have I done" feeling will go away as you keep exploring yourself and getting more used to the idea that its okay that you like guys.

    There are two things you will feel 1) Shame for liking guys 2) shame for trying/liking anal masturbation. Usually after you accept the first the second one will follow, but not always. Sadly, bottoming and anal play can be considered less than for some people, so that's where the shame comes from.

    So yeah, work on coaching yourself through it. It takes a bit of...faking it a bit. Telling yourself that its fine to experiment and play around. That it doesn't take away from who you are.

    As for tips on how to make it feel better, I would say keep on practicing until you find what you like. I personally love bottoming, but I do not like anal masturbation. They are too different feelings for me.

    The cool thing about anal masturbation is being able to explore your own body and learn what it likes and doesn't like. So take time with it and don't rush it.

    Also, please use a condom on your drum stick to avoid any germs going up your butt.
     
  3. Chip

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    There's typically a lot of shame associated with anal masturbation, and as the last poster said, the "what have I done" feeling generally goes away. Most of us get messages from early in life that sex is somehow in the shadows, or something to be ashamed about, and particularly anal play for men is seen as affecting our masculinity.

    I think you'll find as you experiment more that it will get more enjoyable. I would suggest getting an anal toy (you can order off of Amazon if you want to be discreet) rather than using a drumstick, and I would also concur that having the toy covered with a condom is a wise idea.
     
  4. I'm gay

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    I agree with the advice you've been given regarding the shame associated with your sexual activities.

    As for the drumstick and the feeling being underwhelming, I would suggest to you that a drumstick is rather thin. The most intense penetrative feelings come from massage to your prostate. I'm not sure such a thin penetrative device works to your advantage, so it's not surprising that it was underwhelming. An anal toy would work much better.

    Take care. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:ride:
     
  5. AAnonymouss

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    Thanks for the answers guys... unfortunately there is no way I can get my hands on a condom or a toy... all I can do is clean it thoroughly... is there any other things that you guys can suggest to me to help? Other things to use as toys, etc?

    ---------- Post added 31st May 2017 at 08:17 AM ----------

    Oh, also I was wondering if someone could tell me what topping/bottoming is?
     
  6. AKTodd

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    Afraid I can't help you with the alternative toy question, but re topping/bottoming:

    Topping = taking the penetrative role during anal sex.

    Bottom = taking the being penetrated role during anal sex.

    Some people are exclusively one or the other, some are into doing both (they are often referred to as 'versatile' or 'vers'), and some people aren't into anal sex much or at all.

    Note that, as with many things, people may have a preferred role, but still be willing to take the other role because their partner enjoys it or because they occasionally enjoy it, or the like. Others are totally into only their preferred role and have no interest in taking the other role or ever engaging in anal sex under any circumstances (there are plenty of other fun things to do, after all).

    Note also that some people will take the attitude that your preferred role in anal sex (assuming you have one) should somehow define other aspects of your life and personality (i.e., that it is 'manly' to top and 'feminine' to bottom). The most polite thing I can say about such a belief is that it is...misguided. The truth of the matter is that there are very masculine, 'manly' bottoms and very feminine, 'girly' tops and vice versa. And that defining someone by their preferred role makes about as much sense as defining someone by whether or not they prefer their eggs sunny side up or scrambled.

    Hope this helps,

    Todd