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Uncertain

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Neptune09, Aug 4, 2020.

  1. Neptune09

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2020
    Messages:
    3
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    Location:
    Philippines
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I want to share my story about this.

    When I was in high school, it never really occurred to me that I had to concern myself about identities, orientations, and whatnot. Although it somehow boggled me why most, if not almost all, my classmates were preoccupied with romance and crushes. I started reading romance novels and fan fiction stories at that time as well.

    While the stories were interesting, I never really could understand what caused the characters to be attracted to each other. Maybe because I had never experienced attraction myself. My only resource about those things were the stories and novels I read. Then, like all things, I got desensitized of the traditional relationship of man and woman, and explored other genre--where I landed at female-female relationships.

    Until now, I find them more interesting to read. Traditional pair was boring and too cliche. Could that even be used as a guide for my orientation though? Although I am not that naive enough to believe that that just it.

    From my observations though, I mostly found myself looking at females. However, after looking for a bit, my rational mind would come in and everything was back to normal again. To elaborate on that last statement, it is more like I observe them with detachment: what is it that attracted me to her? is it the legs? is it the athletic built? Then... nothing.

    I might not have been explaining myself enough, but I just wanted to know if some of you had a similar experience.

    Thank you,
    Neptune09
     
  2. Laurennnn

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2020
    Messages:
    24
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    Massachusetts, USA
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    Other
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hi! So I haven't had an experience similar to that, but I know that people (if this is what you're going through) being confused/disgusted by hetero couples to the point where they start to question their sexuality because of it is a very normal thing. Not understanding the attraction between males and females is completely normal, and for a lot of people it's really foreign.
    It honestly doesn't really matter if you've had a crush on a specific female yet- sometimes you just know these things. :slight_smile: If you find yourself attracted to women and actually understanding woman-woman attraction, screw everything else. You know who you are! :slight_smile:
    Good luck!