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Ugh..

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by silverdeer, Oct 31, 2016.

  1. silverdeer

    Regular Member

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    It really annoys me how even though I came out my family pretends it never happened :icon_sad:

    Recently my mom suddenly went from accepting to I guess less accepting and then my grandfather had a talk to me about how I will be attracted girls and how I can't do anything about it. (My grandparents think being gay is a choice and gays will go to hell.)

    Here's some family quotes:
    "It's a lie the liberals want you to believe!"
    "Ugh, there are so many fags flooding this town, they are disgusting."
     
    #1 silverdeer, Oct 31, 2016
    Last edited: Oct 31, 2016
  2. Spartan 117

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    I think that a lot of people buy into the idea that teenagers go through a "phase" of being LGBT. Perhaps your mom thinks that you will grow out of it in time, which is why she hasn't been encouraging. While I'm not dismissive of the idea, in my experience - I've never encountered anyone who was just having a "gay phase". People understand their sexuality better as they get older, but it doesn't "change" completely like that.

    As for your grandparents, there's not a lot you can do when confronted with outright bigotry and ignorance. :frowning2: All I can say is that if you're gay, it doesn't matter what your granddad says - you won't be attracted to girls. Turns out that he's the one who can't do anything about it! :lol:
     
  3. falconfalcon

    falconfalcon Guest

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    ugh.


    Find some examples of conservative gays?

    make plans to leave home?

    sorry this is happen :frowning2: Hang in there!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile:
     
  4. mangotree

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    That sucks man.
    It sounds like you Mum might just need some time ... her thoughts at the moment might be getting influenced and muddled by your grandparents (which I'm assuming are her parents?).
    But unfortunately your grandparents sound like they're too old and stubborn and stuck in their ways, so you might have to just accept them the way they are even though they can't accept you the way you are. You could take the higher ground so-to-speak.
     
    #4 mangotree, Oct 31, 2016
    Last edited: Oct 31, 2016
  5. Quantumreality

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    Hey silverdeer,

    I’m sorry that you are having to deal with this kind of ignorance. Unfortunately, when we Come Out to someone, their initial reaction isn’t always indicative of their longer-term reaction. Just as it took you years to come to terms with your sexuality, they need time to process what you told them and figure out how they really feel about it. Initial acceptance is always a very good sign, but it sounds like your mom is still in the grieving process and hasn’t really accepted what you told her yet. If your Mom would be open to some education, maybe you could hook her up with a local PFLAG group where she can talk with parents of other LGBTQ children.

    As far as your grandparents go, as Spartan117 said, there is probably not much you can do with people who are so set in their ways. If you feel strong enough, you might want to just keep insisting to him that being gay isn’t a choice and maybe even ask him why ANYONE would actually choose to be gay and be discriminated against and even hated by people like him?

    Anyway, I wish you only the best!”)