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Trying to sort things out !

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Spaceseed, Nov 10, 2020.

  1. Spaceseed

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    Hi , late 30’s male here , been questioning things my whole life ...

    now that I’m older I can see patterns in my life.

    Since I was a boy I’ve always been somewhat disappointed that I wasn’t born the opposite gender .

    I’ve been enjoying cross dressing on and off my whole life without really admitting it to myself

    In my early teens I started experimenting sexually with my best friends (male) , this went on and off for years till we got older and it started bothering me .

    i officially been dating girls my whole life .

    lately I have a lot of gay fantasies as a bottom , think about cross dressing a lot , or buying toys to play with although I’m on a heterosexual relationship.

    not sure what to think of it , kinks , orientation or gender issues ?
     
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  2. QuietPeace

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    It seems that you might have both gender and orientation issues (not that either is really a problem just that they both need to be considered and discovered.

    This might very well indicate that you should transition and live as a woman, though not necessarily. I tell people that if they can function well in the role dictated by their birth assignment that they should. Transition is difficult and living as a transitioned person is not an easy thing, but for some of us it is the only way that we can function no matter how difficult society makes it.

    Given that you are not necessarily certain of your own gender makes figuring out your orientation that much more difficult. If you are interested in men but are actually a woman then that would make you straight. If you are really a man who just likes to occasionally dress feminine for interest (or kink or whatever) then you would be gay (if you were only interested in men). Added to that is that you so far have been with women. This could mean that you are bisexual (even if you have a preference for one or the other gender/sex) whether you are actually a man or a woman.

    Seeing a therapist could be very helpful. One who specializes in LGBT issues seems essential and one who knows about gender issues would be best.
     
  3. Spaceseed

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    Thanks for your kind response quietpeace!

    you’re right I need to take this to a therapist , I’ve wanted to for years but always lack the guts to tackle this subject.

    Transitioning something i would consider right now , I don’t hate my male body , I hear the word cross dreamer out there , it seems to fit. Although I would take that magic pill without hesitation if it existed )

    I tend to fall in love really hard with girls but the sex gets boring after 2 years in general as I observed.

    I crush really fast on girls , I don’t with boys but sexually talking it seems that gay fantasies or my only experience with a boy , get me off harder.

    I wish I could explore now that I’m finally more ok with myself , but this isn’t an option right now.

    i guess , for myself , I should at least assume bisexuality according to all those signs.