1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Trans with a maybe trans kid?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Outlier, Mar 21, 2015.

  1. Outlier

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2015
    Messages:
    136
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Michigan
    So, I kind of just came out to my son today. (he's a 10-year-old with Aspergers) He’s so awesome.
    I know he doesn’t REALLY get it yet, and the reality of it will be a lot different than talking about it, but I feel like he has a good foundation. I started by asking if he’s even heard of what gay/lesbian/trans is. He’d only heard “gay” and I asked if he knew what it meant and he said it’s “sexy boys” (lol).
    So, I explained what being gay, lesbian, and trans meant. Then I asked what he felt about those things (without using any prompting one way or the other, which was hard because I naturally wanted to help him along). He just said he wasn’t sure, even though he did kind of act like wanting to date someone of the same gender was a little gross even though I’ve told him before today that it’s not gross or weird. (Thanks so much, society). But when I explained trans he actually started engaging more and before I really said much he was like “Yeah, I’m a girl.”
    This isn’t the first time he’s said or hinted at stuff like that, but he always seems to be joking or kind of confusing societal gender roles that he doesn’t conform to into meaning he’s a girl. It’s really hard to tell if that’s really what he’s feeling or if he’s just a boy with feminine traits and likes sometimes, because he has a lot of typical "boy" in him too. Or, he could just be fluid... which seems more likely to me at this point. He DID say he wishes he could wear a dress but doesn’t want to get made fun of.

    So it's possible I might have a transgender or gender fluid kid. Is it common at all for that to happen? Two trans people in the same immediate family?
     
  2. Foz

    Foz Guest

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2015
    Messages:
    979
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    You Kay
    Gender:
    Male
    It's hard to say, there is a possibility there is some sort of aspergers induced confusion or mistranslation. Plenty of boys like the thought of wearing womens clothing without being trans. Though statistically having a trans parent does increase the chances of the child being trans too, however it is kinda too early to say, perhaps it just a case of seeing how puberty plays out (have fun!).
     
  3. RainbowGreen

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 11, 2013
    Messages:
    1,442
    Likes Received:
    44
    Location:
    Québec
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I guess you have to wait and see. Let him explore his gender identity and if you think he may be trans, you can always take him to a gender therapist to clear things out.

    Seriously? I would like to see those statistics, if you don't mind :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: Not that I don't believe you, but I would like to know how common.
     
  4. WillowRose

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2014
    Messages:
    173
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Kentuckiana
    I know that once I came out to my kid and started to transition, the kid started talking about being trans or genderqueer. I don't know where that's going to end up. It's not like I can get all freaked out and all "just a phase," you know? Especially since they've been so supportive and accepting of me. But I do have increased sympathy for the difficulties my parents are having with my transition.
     
  5. Acm

    Acm Guest

    I don't know if it's common or not, but I have ran into another trans guy online who had a trans parent, so it is possible. Of course it could just be normal childhood experimentation, or just gender role confusion and wanting to wear girl's clothes, but who knows. Either way it's nice that he has a safe environment to express those feelings in.
     
  6. Outlier

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2015
    Messages:
    136
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Michigan
    I'm starting therapy soon, so I'm hoping I can take him with me a couple times and maybe get him some of his own sessions too just to see. He doesn't seem unhappy or dysphoric, so who knows. I just have to start paying more attention and keep the communication going.

    Me too. I tried Googling, but didn't get anywhere.