TLDR; Trans male top wondering wether my ideas about sex and relationships with men are fictional/impossible/ridiculous. Hi. I am a trans guy in my late twenties who intends to fully physically transition and prior to social transition I mostly fell for women. However, since I started living as a man I only notice other men. When looking back at my childhood, it makes sense. I always felt like a gay man inside, I just shoved it under a rug and my sexuality was kind of dormant until recently. I already know the logistics and own the equipment (penile prosthetics) to sexually engage with men, and a strong desire to date men, but I am honestly really apprehensive. There are so many questions whirring in my mind and I'd just like to speak to other gay men about it - but It's always felt wrong to randomly approach someone to ask questions. Part of me thinks I just want to dominate guys because of how much I felt silenced by them and its some form of empowering fantasy, but I know there is more to my feelings than that. I actually prefer gentler guys, the kind of secure older effeminate men that are confident in themselves and love openly, touchy feely men who aren't afraid to express themselves. I guess power bottom comes to mind, sexually. But ...do such men exist? And will I find a gay/ bi guy who will see me as an equal? Or do I have extremely unrealistic standards and expectations that are complete works of fiction? Because, admittedly...I don't know men very well- for most of my life I was surrounded with really bad examples, from latent homosexual psychotic guys to religious converts who married and had children to escape the homosexual world, and yet I am very physically and mentally attracted to these ideas I have - perhaps just ideas of men. I am writing here in the hopes people may set me straight or at least talk to me about it - I've been in my own head about it way too long.