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Trans guys and presenting feminine

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Mihael, Feb 17, 2017.

  1. Mihael

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    Hey

    I was wondering how many trans guys or other transmasculine people, go through the presenting feminine thing. Makeup, high heels, waist long hair... What are your stories with that? The stereotype is that the transmasculine person has always been a tomboy.
     
  2. anthracite

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    I did it too. Had no long hair and didn't change my character, but my appearance. Skinny jeans and makeup and I tried so hard to be feminine. It didn't work and the results were beautiful but in a way that whatever was in the mirror would be my date but not me.
     
  3. Rickystarr

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    I had long hair from age 9 to age 14. Ironically, I grew it outin rebellion because my mom made me keep it short as a kid. I also attempted makeup from ages 12-15. Very badly. Just concealer and eyeliner. And blue eyeshadow and lip gloss from 12-13 lol.

    Never really wore skirts or dresses or high heels except on very special occasions.

    From 13-14 I would've been considered emo, and 14-16 I was a bit of a weeabo just to paint a picture.
     
  4. Daydreamer1

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    I had longish hair up until I was 18 or so, before I cut it all off. I think that with how I would dye my hair and my emo phase made me love it more. Honestly, if it wasn't a load to keep up with, I wouldn't mind growing my hair our again.
     
  5. darkcomesoon

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    I had long hair until I was about 18, and I wore dresses until I announced that I was a lesbian at age 16 (even after that I wore dresses when I had to, just resentfully). I never wore makeup, because it was a hassle. But yeah, I presented quite femininely for a lot of my life. It was what was expected of me, and I wanted to blend in. Plus, I'm not the most masculine guy. I actually like wearing dresses sometimes (on days when my dysphoria is low enough that I can).
     
  6. jem17

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    i had long hair until a couple of years ago. my mum was extremely against it and took me close to a year to convince her to let me get it cut to my shoulders and then it was a matter of begging to go shorter (the time i shaved my hair to a number 5 was a completetly different story). when it was to my shoulders i wore skirts and make up to make her happy. i brought dresses and wore typically feminine things.

    i havent told her im trans. shes only just accepted my sexuailty and i told her that 4 years ago. i still wear makeup a bit but thats only because some of my cis-male and agender friends wear it and keep on telling me im still a guy if i wear it.

    how i see it: im still a guy. even if i have to wear a dress everyday for school or if i have to grow my hair out so i can stay at my house. im still a male.
     
  7. Kodo

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    Exactly this.

    Overall I had been more of a tomboy growing up: a pseudo-gothic gamer who loved superheros, rock music, and weightlifting.

    However when I was going through a fierce denial phase, I tried so hard to "be a girl" and own it, so I'd be accepted by my family. I got my ears pierced, wore skirts and tighter clothes, etc. And overall I got complimented a lot on being pretty or what have you. But it felt so wrong. What I saw in the mirror was not who I was at heart or what I really wanted to look like.
     
  8. Najlen

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    I had a couple of years where I presented extremely feminine. But then I got tired of dealing with my long hair and cut it all off, and I got rid of most of my more feminine clothes. But at this point, to be honest, I don't really see clothes or makeup as gendered anymore. I like wearing eyeliner, so I wear eyeliner. I like wearing dresses on occasion, so sometimes I wear dresses. Those things don't really feel feminine or masculine to me anymore, they're just things that I do.
     
    #8 Najlen, Feb 19, 2017
    Last edited: Feb 19, 2017
  9. CJliving

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    Yeah, I dressed pretty femininely when I worked at my jewelry store and lingerie store jobs. Long hair, make-up (not like a lot, but a bit), leggings, (double) push-up bras, lace, heels, so much jewelry. Tbh, I still like all that stuff and I look great in it. I don't do that on a daily basis but...

    ...fuck gender
     
    #9 CJliving, Feb 20, 2017
    Last edited: Feb 20, 2017
  10. Lacybi

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    The funny thing about me is that now I've accepted that I'm not a girl I dress more femininely. I think it was because growing up I was a girl in a dress but I'm not, I'm a boy in a dress and that makes all the difference.
    Other than my hair (it went down to my bum from about seven to thirteen) I dressed pretty neutrally. Okay so yeah my clothes were in feminine colours and patterns but I lived in loose tracksuit bottoms, t-shirts, hoodies and runners. My favourite colour was blue. I only wore jewellery when I was playing dress-up and even at sixteen the only makeup I own is eyeliner and a pink lipgloss that I've had since I was about five.
    My girly phase was through books - Jacqueline Wilson, Cathy Cassidy, Judy Blume, Paula Danzinger, Meg Cabot, Sarah Webb, Louise Rennison, Cathy Hopkins, Sarah Dessan, Linda Chapman, you name it. I read as many typical teen girl books as I could get my hands on.
     
  11. Cailan

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    Lacybi, I'm the same way. Before I accepted being dual-gender I was always anxious about presenting completely femme and I felt like a fraud. I always thought people were staring at me and making fun of me because it was wrong. But since I've acknowledged my masculine side, it's easier being completely femme. I've even begun to be completely comfortable wearing pink! That's never happened before.

    And under the skirt, instead of lacy panties, sometimes there are men's satin briefs.
     
  12. Rozco

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    Agree with this. I was a hella intense tomboy from whenever I could dress myself to age 12 (in fact, I thought I WAS a boy and was convinced I'd grow up and magically become one). Then I realised this couldn't happen (before I figured out about trans stuff) so I grew my hair out a little. Wore a dress once. Then cut my hair off and went back to t-shirts and jeans. From 13 on it's back to the boyishness.
     
  13. PepperP

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    I have an incredibly overbearing mother. Growing up I wasn't allowed to wear trousers. I was always in dresses and skirts. She dictated my wardrobe. I couldn't be bothered to rebel to be quite honest, because there were more serious issues at that point in my life. Plus even if I'd worn trousers she would have made sure they were feminine ones and accentuated the figure. So I guess I was feminine, yes. She encouraged typically female grooming, and always wanted me to wear makeup. I did wear mascara and concealer for my teenage hood, because she would moan at me if I didn't. I wore dresses and skirts every day and it became a habit. I had long hair until I cut it to a bob at 18, then quickly up to a lot shorter (but still pixie cut at that point). Mum hated it when I cut it short.
    Then when I came to uni and had the freedom, finally, I switched over to binding, wearing baggy trousers and jumpers, and I was immediately much much more comfortable. Had a grade 4 cut done for my hair, and my jaw is really strong. Would be kind of difficult to make me look femininely pretty now, I think! I look utterly ridiculous in a dress now, it's kind of funny. She hates it (she doesn't know I'm trans yet, but I think she knows something is up gender-wise).

    I struggled so much when I started coming out, because I was worried people wouldn't believe me because I had looked so feminine (did not fit the tomboy stereotype at all), but it was not a problem.
     
  14. Vincentt

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    I had long hair from childhood to the age of 18. I never liked it, but never had the guts to get it cut until I moved out from my parents' house.

    I went through the feminine phase during high school, around sophomore or junior year. Before that I refused to wear makeup or straighten/curl my hair, I refused to wear skinny jeans, and I would not be found in anything more revealing than a V-neck. I began to develop that adolescent need to fit in, and be accepted. I was also bullied for not presenting feminine enough. So I took it upon myself to use my stepmother's straightener and makeup, and dress in more "female" attire. I never went all-out (mainly just tighter clothes to outline my form and some lipstick and powdery stuff to cover my acne), but it was a drastic change for me.

    I never enjoyed it. It felt weird, alien almost, and made me even more insecure than I already was. Even when my sister took the time to "doll me up" for senior photos, even when everyone told me I was beautiful, I never felt at ease. I could look in the mirror and admit that the girl looking back at me was objectively pretty, but it did not feel like myself. I felt like I was in drag, wearing a mask, a costume, to please the people in my life. I never experienced any sensation of personal comfort when it came to my external appearance until I first got a mens cut and tried on a binder.