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Tough decision

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Giulia, May 8, 2018.

  1. Giulia

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    So last night drunk me decided it was a good idea to almost come out as trans to a really close friend. Almost. I didn't and now she's mad at me because she knows there is something that I'm not telling her. She told me that it's because I don't trust her and that really broke my heart. She is the first one i came out to as lesbian, she's always the first one I go to for whatever reason and the truth is that I'm just scared. I'm afraid she will think different of me even though she reassured me she won't. I don't know what to do.
     
  2. Richard321

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    Explain to her that it was not personal about her and that you don't trust anyone to know.

    She does, though, sound like someone you could tell this to.
     
  3. Giulia

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    Yeah i guess you're right. I really need to gain my courage and tell her
     
  4. BradThePug

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    At this point, it really is about weighing your options. If you keep it a secret, you risk losing trust with your friend. If you tell your friend, then you may lose them if they are not accepting. There is a good chance that they will be accepting though since they are accepting of you already.
     
  5. Giulia

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    The problem is that I don't how to tell her. She's still not talking to me and I'm so scared. I feel like my brain won't cooperate when the moment comes and i won't be able to say anything.
     
  6. Crisalide

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    Then write :slight_smile:
     
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  7. BradThePug

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    I agree with the above poster. Writing is a good way to get it out if it something that you think will be hard to say. I have used writing a lot because I have a harder time expressing things verbally.
     
  8. KayNB

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    also... if you need time to write the note, it might help to let her know that the secret is so big that you've never told anyone and that you trust her so much that you intend for her to be the first person you tell.
     
  9. Aberrance

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    I had the same problem coming out to my closest friends and decided to write them all letters explaining what I was going trhough and how I felt. It still wasn't easy to give them the letters but it was 100% easier than getting words out, so I just sat infront of them and gave it to them so they could ask what they needed to after. I could physically not get myself to say it, it just wouldn't happen so a letter is definitely a better way to go and then you can draft and redraft it to get it perfect and say what you want to say.
     
  10. Giulia

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    I think it's a really good idea. I spent the last two days writing this letter and it's almost done. I haven't talked to her yet but i will as soon as it's ready. I just hope i won't have a heart attack lol
     
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