So I can't help but notice that a majority of the sex help on this forum pertains to bottoms, but what about topping? I know it seems obvious; stretch, lube, go slow, communication, but I'm still nervous since I've never topped before. Does anyone have any advice?
You might want to start out in a position that gives you and your partner more control during the initial penetration and intercourse until you both get comfortable and get a rhythm going. You sitting, reclining, or laying down why he lowers himself onto you is one option. Another is you both on your sides with you entering from behind. In either position, the guy bottoming has more control over how fast and deep things start out and in the second neither of you is fighting gravity, although it can be a little awkward at times. Once you are both comfortable, you can switch positions if you want to allow for more energetic activities. As far as stuff beyond that - pay attention to what your partner likes and how he's reacting (as The Virgo has said, communication is key). If you seem to be hitting a spot that has him groaning in pleasure, probably do more of that (or do less of something that doesn't seem to rock his world). In the same way, if he does something that feels awesome for you, let him know and maybe indicate you want him to do it again. Hope this helps, and have fun Todd
I'd also like to add this before and after care... sex is amazing But as a top you also should make sure the bottom is feeling ok and loved after everything is done. Cuddling, kissing, stuff that will make him feel loved and not a fuck toy
This! This, this this! I feel as if everything online is about bottoming or the people I look towards for advise are bottoms. I was thinking of making a thread, but since you already made one I'll just ask a few questions. About how far in is the prostate, in inches? About how many inches will be inside, on average? Stopping for 4-6 seconds seems to increase the time I last by more than a minute. Would switching positions to achieve this be reasonable, or is the lack of friction for the bottom too high to warrant such a pause? If you use 2 hands to masturbate, how can I convert the time I last whilst masturbating into time spent in anal intercourse? Would you recommend being subjected to foreplay first and the bottom second? I reckon this would increase the time spent on penetrative intercourse. What positions would not work as well depending on the length of your member? Back to front seems like it would not be as enjoyable to both partners if the top is ~4-5". There are times where only ~4" are in the anus, do bottoms finds this at all pleasureable? Does anyone actually do position where the bottom rests his weight on his shoulders with their back to a couch or bed and their bottom is point upwards? What positions would be ideal to increase the receivers pleasure? In your experience, do bottoms tend to masturbate while being penetrated, or instead opt not to? Those are only the questions I could think of on the fly. Either the amount shows my ignorance, or the lack of comprehensive help out there.
^Important. Respect also that some people don't particularly enjoy anal sex, and as people get older, anal sex may not be something you can partake in (people may develop health issues like anal prolapse*, or some other condition, most people will at some point in their lives). *Above issue is not believed to be caused by anal sex (unless you're tearing his insides out, and if so BAD TOP, BAD), it's just something that naturally develops in some people.
Above all things I think it is very important that you remember to relax. Nerves (the psychological kind) are probably the number one boner-killer at your age. By any means, keep in mind everything that has been said in this thread, but don't overwhelm yourself so much with giving a perfect performance that you become unable to perform at all. You may make some mistakes this time around and so what? Cut yourself some slack, it's is your first time after all. The second time is gonna be better, and the one after that more so, and so forth. This is natural so don't stress yourself too much over it, let go and enjoy the sex. It's supposed to be fun, not a test. Sidenote: The jitters can not only kill your boners, but they can also prevent you from being able to finish (speaking from experience here...). The sad thing is most bottoms will blame themselves for this. Even if they enjoyed the sex, if you couldn't get there they will feel inadequate afterwards. So, again, relax, get in the mood, go with the flow and don't overthink it.
