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Top or bottom

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by theamos13, Jul 20, 2018.

  1. Biguy45

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    Do you receive special training like first responders and emts
     
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  2. Nickw

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    I've only, really, had intercourse with one guy multiple times (an emergency situation once on a bike ride with a different guy...but that's another story).

    We flipped. I cannot say which was better. I'm pretty methodical and deliberate. I made sure my first time was special...it was!

    I've been told by a number of guys who I haven't had intercourse with but did other stuff that I am a natural top. I don't know what that means.

    FWIW, if a total top is interested in me I don't like it at all especially if he is large (not talking large "there" guys) I just cannot feel dominated...I know I know.
     
    #22 Nickw, Jul 20, 2018
    Last edited: Jul 20, 2018
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  3. Biguy45

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    I actually like being submissive. Most of my experience with that is with women but I enjoy it. I think that’s why I like giving oral, to either sex, because I’m my mind it is submissive
     
  4. Nickw

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    I liked it all ways with my friend. We mixed it up. I taught him how to make love like I would a woman. One of us sometimes would "take" the other as a top aggressively. Sometimes the bottom would take the top...especially if one o us felt more "prepared" to bottom.

    We were both inexperienced and wanted to try it all.
     
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  5. Biguy45

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    Sounds nice. I really don’t have that level of experience unfortunately. Not with men, anyway I often replay in my head the experiences I did have though
     
  6. Nickw

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    I feel so fortunate my friend and I met when we did. He's 24, which is sort of creepy I guess...I'm 59. I met him on an app and said "no way". A week or two later I was on a rock climbing app where you look for other climbers...there he was. So what the hell....why not?

    He was so excited to be my first. Honestly, I needed this exploration to be fun and, well, innocent. As strange as that sounds. He had only had quickie hookups before...so it was new for us both. Priceless to experience this at my age. (Gay age 18 that is)
     
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  7. OGS

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    I think it's always funny different people's perspectives on things. I guess it also may come down to the type of guy you are or are attracted to. I am a versatile top and my first observation is that in my experience the majority of guys are versatile--and my second observation which seems to differ from just about everyone else's experience: in my experience more guys were tops.
     
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  8. Calf

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    Being a bottom doesn't have to mean being dominated or being submissive. If it's what turns you on in the moment then dom'/ sub' is fine but it's a separate issue from the top, bottom, vers' issue.

    Playing a role to get kinky is fine but if you're being dominated by a partner then I'd say that's an unhealthy relationship.

    I'm vers/both but only ever topped until I was in a long term relationship.

    Whatever you feel now can change in the future so it's probably best not to limit your options by picking a side. Plus it stinks of the whole "who's the man and who's the woman?" question, that can make a sane gay man go hulk in 60 seconds.
     
  9. HM03

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    This is why I hate it is much. Pisses me off so much. I feel like it pushes heterogeneity, implies that there is something wrong with being feminine/"The women". And don't assume anything based on my personality.

    See? The dudes right - Hulk mode activated lmao
     
    #29 HM03, Jul 28, 2018
    Last edited: Jul 28, 2018
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  10. CuriousLad

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    Yeah the heteronormativity sucks and it's the only way for some straight people to actually understand gay relationships.

    But being referred to as a woman could be offensive for two different reasons. One could be because we're being called something we're not. So I'd be equally offended if someone called me a chicken nugget.
    But the second could be that being emasculated is a man's worst dream. Even though there's nothing wrong with actually being a girl, men being called feminine feel insulted all the time, as I did in middle school. So I can't help but bring in sexism into this. We might subconsciously realise that being called this traditionally weaker, passive sex goes against everything we've been taught we stand for as men. There's a reason why men are called p*ssies for chickening out from something but d*cks for simply being jerks. That's not to say that all gay men are sexist, it's just something all genders and sexualities have internalised without bothering to question it.
     
  11. DreamerAsh

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    I'd be a top. I don't have much interest being a bottom. If, I was a bottom I wouldn't enjoy it that much.
     
  12. Jarak

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    Oddly enough, I’ve only ever bottomed for the men and transgendered women I’ve been with. I prefer it, but I could definitely power top if needed
     
  13. Feelunique

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    I would say I'm versatile because I would like to bottom. Have asked but always been a top in the end
     
  14. Biguyjosh

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  15. MarkieTS

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    Definite bottom. Nothing like a toe curling sensation
     
  16. Jarak

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    :raised_hands: This
     
  17. Shorthaul

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  18. BothWaysSecret

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    Haven't done it with anyone yet, but I'd want to be versatile.
     
  19. Contented

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    For me at the start of this journey to acceptance I was a top but as I became more comfortable and started to shed the masculine preconditioning BS I wanted to experiment with bottoming. More and more being a bottom was a huge turn-on. Just the thought of my BF inside of me sends shivers up my spine. Bottoming to me was the massive final step towards total homosexuality. The feeling of connection is overwhelming, erotic and beyond pleasurable.I am almost an exclusive bottom, luckily my BF is vers. I could care less is someone thinks I am a fem, or submissive as it has no bearing on me.
     
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  20. D Artagnan

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    Versatile all the way.....best of both worlds!!!
     
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