I did search the current threads via google, but I didn't find anything specific that could help me with my questioning. I will also "expand" the discussion because I think its interesting for the community. I've been going out with this guy for a month now. Ok, we met half a dozen times, and we are still going. I think this may evolve into a serious relationship, or perhaps not, but this is going more towards the relationship way. Lets call him M. M prefers topping. Actually, I think that he may be top exclusive. I am versatile on the other hand. I did suggest to top him twice, but he declined and I didn't insist. In one occasion he said "don't dream about it, you can fantasize, but this is as far as we go [he treated me with a specific position]". Since then I assumed M is top exclusive. Yesterday, however, while we were at it he did mention something along the lines of him sitting on me, as a bottom. I didn't develop the topic and we stood with the "known basics" for the day. Once again he was top exclusive. I'm confronted with three hypothesis: 1) He is top exclusive. In this case, I ask: I am versatile, and I do have the need to top once in a while. Actually, I have "phases" where I top more than bottom and vice-versa. How do I deal with this? 2) He is versatile, but just likes topping more. In this case, I think we are fine. 3) He is building trust to let me top him eventually. I'm leaning towards this one since what he told me yesterday it looks like he is inclined to bottom. --- Disclaimers, existential crisis and other information that may or may not help with the advice I am asking: ----- About sex: I don't see sex as necessarily involving penetration. I see sex as an intimate connection between two or more parties. But to be fulfilled, physically, it is nice to have a few options. Having said that, I don't think sexual preferences should dictate with whom I want to build a relationship with, specially when the interest to build a relationship could be potentially present in all parties. The exception to this are more extreme kinds of fetishes and sexual addictions that may be or are currently labeled as disorders. With that in mind, I admit that sexuality does make a difference in picking a partner, but, once again, it doesn't dictate and should not dictate it. Much less if we are talking about a relationship itself. In this sense, I live in a dilemma where I stand up to my standards - think of it like a personal dogma - while potentially countering how I would act without those standards. i.e: giving up on someone just because X or Y aspect doesn't match my sexual preferences or other topics. I might as well live the rest of my life in celibacy or alone because nobody will ever be perfect and perfection and idealism are distorted and fake notions anyways. About communication: M said he doesn't like social media and digital messaging stuff. Most of our talking happens when we are together, but instead of talking we end up doing other things and I am to blame for that too. But we are developing and our talks have been becoming deeper and I'm afraid we are perhaps going to quick on this. Having said that, I didn't ask in a explicit way about his sexual preferences. I think this may push unnecessary insecurities and be in the way of other, more important things, that we need to clarify between ourselves. This goes hand-in-hand with my stance on the sexual topic not being essential to a relationship, although it is something important. --- TL;DR: My current partner seems to be exclusive top. I am versatile and I have needs. Is there any way to proceed with maturity without compromising a developing relationship? Is this something that affects a longer term relationship (not necessarily my case)? Non-monogamy may be an option to "fulfill" something like this?