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Too ugly to be gay/lesbian

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Sealgirl19, Jun 19, 2017.

  1. Sealgirl19

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    You ever feel too ugly to attract someone of the same sex? This has sorta been a fear of mine since coming out.

    Like what do I do to attract women?
    Do I go to the grocery store or online?

    Anybody else share this fear or experienced this before?
     
  2. RedTrekkie95

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    All the time. A friend of mine actually told me once that I have a face for radio. Must be because I have a really pointy nose. That, and having 'manky' feet (I've had to Google that one), makes me feel really unworthy and self-conscious.

    BTW I don't have manky feet, that was just supposed to be an insult from another friend. Nevertheless it makes me feel ugly and inferior.

    I also have a fear that gay people are more judgemental when it comes to physical appearance, which doesn't help.
     
    #2 RedTrekkie95, Jun 19, 2017
    Last edited: Jun 19, 2017
  3. Fishtail

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    No but too young looking to be taken serious by others around my age.
    And the possible assumption that i'm only/exclusive passive,
    plus my slight cautious around most Guys and some Females.

    Everyone can have fears, even the most confident looking Person.
     
    #3 Fishtail, Jun 19, 2017
    Last edited: Jun 19, 2017
  4. swimmingfly

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    i've had a crush on this one girl (who is actually a lesbian!!! <3) for a year and i'm super extra about it. like i go out of my way to see her and talk to her lol
     
  5. Fishtail

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    I bet my Books on that you're friend is jealous of you if it wasn't in a joking/humorous tone.
    If it wasn't kidding around, I would question the friendship between you 2.

    Actually it feels like most guys judge the physical appearance no matter if gay or straight,
    especially after the iphones launched and the stupid 'hot or not' dating apps.
     
    #5 Fishtail, Sep 12, 2017
    Last edited: Sep 12, 2017
  6. Just1Dude

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    Yes... yes yes yes... all the time.
     
  7. Assassin'sKat

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  8. lonewolf79

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    same here... every day.. .all day... and probably when I sleep too. :frowning2:
     
    #8 lonewolf79, Sep 13, 2017
    Last edited: Sep 13, 2017
  9. Blackangel

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    Let me put it this way:

    I would post a pic of myself, but I don't want to be responsible for turning anyone to stone.
     
  10. gravechild

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    Not really. I mean, I have low self-esteem, but get enough compliments from others to know that it's my issue, and not necessarily grounded in reality.
     
  11. shyjess

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    My low self-esteem is always about my looks. I get weird looks from people all the time because of my looks, even called ugly or a man once in awhile. I still remember the time I had to stay over a friend's house to wait for her grandma to take me to school and her cousin, who always hated me for some reason, called me ugly. It hurt my feelings, but I intend to ignore it.

    I'm used to being called ugly because words are words.
     
  12. LaurenSkye

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    I sometimes feel too ugly to attract the opposite sex. They've never really shown much interest in me before.
     
  13. RainydayTofu

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    Ohhh yep. I hang around with straight people because they're generally so much less judgmental about appearances.

    Sometimes I feel like "Oh, I look alright today" and then I catch my relection and it's back to "Nope! I really am repulsive". It sucks.

    Sure gay LGBT people are appearing on TV more and more often, but they're always good-looking.
     
  14. timo

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    I used to feel like that sometimes, as the gay community can be quite shallow and judgmental.

    However trust me when I say it's not an issue. There are enough people out there who aren't only judging someone for their looks.
     
  15. Loves books

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    I am worried I'm not pretty enough to thin enough to attract people. Then again none of the people in my colleges LGBT club are drop dead gorgeous either. I'm sure I'll find some average enough person who's pretty on the inside and that matters more to me than outside beauty.
     
  16. Nekoko

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    I worry I'm too mannish and generally unattractive to properly pass as female and by extension feel very self conscious about my relationships with other women, feeling very much like anyone seeing me would think I'm big and manly when inside im a delicate flower easily bruised... a fact that I'm sure annoys my girlfriend to no end, because as she's made very clear, she's as mad about me as I am about her...

    I think the best thing you can do to combat your self conscious feelings is to trick yourself into confidence. Look in the mirror and tell yourself you're beautiful, hell tell yourself you're the most gorgeous/handsome person in the world. Lavish yourself with compliments, get really narcissistic on yourself even if you don't believe it! (Note this is not a cure all it's just something that's worked for me in the past)

    It's not much but the thing is nobody is 100% confident in their appearance, some of the hottest people in the world go to bed thinking they are ugly as sin. The idea is to learn to love yourself and treat yourself with the same kind of affection and devotion you want to lavish on others. Love thy self as you would have others love you. In this big blue marble there is one thing anyone can do that helps push through the day and if not be confident, at least look the part. And that's the old tried and true adage: "Fake it till you make it!"

    Good luck out their cats~ (Even if this advice is totally useless xD)
     
  17. gravechild

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    Because women care more about how they're treated than looks