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Tomorrow my life totally changes

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by baristajedi, Jul 21, 2017.

  1. baristajedi

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    I'm moving out tomorrow into a flat with my partner. I'm a bit in a dreamy haze right now, I don't know if I can really believe my life is changing until I step into the new flat. It's like I'm holding my breath with the feeling that I can't really breathe or let it sink in until I'm really there because I honestly can't believe I've finally gotten to this point.

    One thing that makes it feel all less real is that my daughter's away right now with her dad. Things in my life don't feel complete without her incorporated into all of it. I want to see her, with her toys in a corner, tucked up in bed in the new flat, before I can see that it's real.


    Another thing that kind of has me holding my breath ... even though it's been 2 years since I've come out, 1 year since we decided to separate, and a countless amount of big steps in between all of that, my ex hasn't yet told his family about this whole thing. He's telling them this week, while he's home with them. They're the only important people in our lives who don't know. I'm not comfortable with anything about this delay in him talking to them.... but at least I can expect they'll know by the time he and my daughter come home, and my new life can really start.
     
    #1 baristajedi, Jul 21, 2017
    Last edited: Jul 21, 2017
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  2. baristajedi

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    I'm just sitting here thinking... can I really have all the things ive been fighting for? I'm still holding my breath but it's starting to sink in a bit...
     
  3. beagle

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    Happy moving baristajedi, your daughter will join you soon, just gives you time to get everything sorted and out of boxes. When moving anything heavy lift with your legs not your back.
     
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  4. Landgirl

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    "
    I'll always remember something my therapist said to me:

    You can have it all. You just need to realise that you are allowed it!"
     
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  5. greatwhale

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    Hi Barista,

    These are heady days! I am happy for you, and happy to hear that you are taking the necessary steps to live your truth!

    I can tell you that here, on the side you are about to enter, life is good! And things are getting better and better!

    I am now with living my partner, full stop. Our commitment to each other, and to our relationship is intentional, there will be no drifting into things as before, we are together because we want to be, and we have life projects we want to share, and share we do! What I find most reassuring in all of this is just how natural it feels and how well he and I get along. It is such a joy to be able to talk to him about my life, and equally satisfying to hear him tell me about his days, I am an extremely lucky guy!

    The one "rule" I want to share with you about sharing one's life successfully with another is that it takes a radical and fearless honesty, along with the courage to share our deepest feelings, because we trust each other. In a sense, we carry each other's hearts within our souls. We do this with respect, tolerance, compassion...and love. We accept this tremendous responsibility because it is dear to both of us. Our focus is on "us", as if this word embodied a separate entity mingled into our relationship. By focusing on us, it turns out we don't have to agree on everything, or even fully understand each other, but a mutual commitment to "us" is essential, and that is impossible without willing to be completely vulnerable.
     
  6. looking for me

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    love this, gonna have to steal it. :slight_smile:
     
  7. looking for me

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    Jedi, i am sooo happy for you. your daughter will be home soon, and in your home. im sure she'll be just fine with all the changes, kids are so adaptable.
     
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  8. WanderingMind

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    This post made me cry. I've followed your story from afar since the start, I think. You've been brave and vulnerable---a combination few manage well. My heart is happy for the progress you've made. Best wishes in this stage of your journey.
     
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  9. OnTheHighway

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    Vulnerability, this is what makes a relationship work....

    Baristajedi, good luck!
     
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  10. LostInDaydreams

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    I'm very happy for you, Barista. Best of luck with moving!
     
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  11. baristajedi

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    Thank you everyone so much, you're all such a big part of my journey to come home to myself. That's how I feel today, that I'm coming home in a sense.

    @greatwhale there's so much insight packed into your response, I think I'm going to come back to that response many times to take in different parts of what you say. And I'm so happy for you that you're in such a wonderful beautiful relationship.

    @WanderingMind thanks so much for your words

    @looking for me i'm mostly confident but still a bit nervous about my daughter's adjustment... I know you're right, she'll likely adapt and thrive
     
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  12. Moonsparkle

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    Best of luck Baristajedi! It's the start of a beautiful new chapter in your life! How much things can change in a few years...and I imagine it has been a difficult few years in some ways. But think how much you have learned and grown...all of which you take with you into this new chapter. Which you should title: 'Coming Home'. :slight_smile:

    Landgirl-love this! Reminds me a bit of one of my favorite quotes from the Wizard of Oz.

    'You had the power all along my dear'---Glenda the Good Witch.
     
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  13. IrishEyes

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    I'm so delighted for you. Wishing you all the luck in the world.
     
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  14. RJay

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    It's going to be great, you will see! I'm happy for you, and it gives me hope!
     
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  15. SiennaFire

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    When you look back you will realize how far you've come.
    You have achieved strength, power, and victory through passion.
    Your chains are broken.
    You are free.
     
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  16. baristajedi

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    Thank you so much friends :slight_smile:

    I can't believe how incredibly happy I feel right now. I'm a little apprehensive about my daughters adjustment at the moment but I have a lot of confidence in how that will go, just small normal parent overthinking. And I miss her dearly right now. And I have a small bit of sadness at the beginning of changes in my relationship with my ex's family now that they'll finally know about things.

    But aside from those feelings, I'm feeling so full inside, nurtured and happy, waking up in a flat with this incredible woman, feeling like my life is following my internal compass for once and that I'm at home, finally.
     
    #16 baristajedi, Jul 24, 2017
    Last edited: Jul 24, 2017
  17. baristajedi

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    @SiennaFire thats how I feel, free, totally free, I'm tearing up a bit thinking about it... I can't believe I've finally started listening to my inner voice, I love where my life is going.
     
  18. Alaya35

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    Th
     
  19. looking for me

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    Ahhh Jedi, what a lovely way to start the week. hearing of a friend achieving the victory she's worked so hard for. hugh hugs my friend. :slight_smile:
     
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  20. baristajedi

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    Thank you Sarah :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile:
     
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