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Tomboy Transfem?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Katelyn93, Jul 26, 2022.

  1. Katelyn93

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Pretoria, South-Africa
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    All but family
    While I know that gender identity and expression are separate and not linked, I've still managed to convince myself that in order for me to be a valid transwoman, I have to be feminine, which I forced for a while just to realize I don't feel super comfortable with either and then felt like my identity was invalidated.

    Some folks recommended that maybe I'm non binary or such which I considered but it doesn't feel like it suits me, I'm a woman, just not girly. What confuses me more is that i do on occasion like doing my makeup and being pretty and wearing dresses but I've been told I give off very masculine energy (a far departure from when I was male presenting and was told I don't seem very manly, which made me happy).

    Then one day I realized that my mother has always said she's a tomboy, doing garden work, lugging heavy stuff, playing sports, riding bikes, and never had any issues with her identity. I'm more feminine than she is but not by much.

    This helped me a lot, like I don't need a label sure enough but I'm not unhappy to have something I can relate to together.

    Who knew this was a thing and never told me?!
     
  2. Rayland

    Moderator Full Member

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    Location:
    Estonia
    Gender:
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    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I can kinda get it. I'm male for sure, but still like dresses and girly stuff. It made me question myself. You can express yourself how you feel like. It's all very valid. It don't make you any less of a woman or in my case man. I have realized I am a feminine trans man. We're just stuck in stereotypes. Hope this helps a bit.
     
  3. chicodeoro

    Full Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    London
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    All but family
    Tomboys rock!

    Seriously, sometimes I think us trans women end up overcompensating for years of reining in our innate femininity and end up going too far the other way. Myself, I love wearing make up and dresses, but still love playing football and watching sport in general. If in the short term I'm a bit girlier than I used to be, I always say to friends that, given time, things will even themselves out.

    Beth