Tolerance?

I tend to think the problem is that the the most intolerant get the most attention. As bad news and news that gets under people's skin gets more ratings, so that is what is shoved down everyone's' throat 24 hours a day.

Every group has that 10% that give the other 90% a bad rap.

 

Yea, this is the main thing that makes me not want to go to in person LGBT groups or events. This site is pretty tolerant overall, but I get a very strong 'you will fall in line' vibe from the LGBT people I've met in person. Show support for any social belief that doesn't side with the what they believe and it seems like you're automatically considered a traitor by most of the established LGBT community. There seem to be a lot who believe anyone who doesn't dedicate their life to LGBT activism is 'part of the problem' too.

Like, I'm a person, just because I'm gay now doesn't mean anything else about me has or should change. But they treat it like if you don't radically reinvent yourself to fit in you aren't really part of the community.

 

I have to say that while this is clearly an experience people have (it comes up on here a lot) it's never been my experience. I've found the LGBT community to be more open and tolerant than pretty much any other community I've encountered. My apologies for not falling in line with the thread.

 

I know. That was the joke.

 

Hi Biguy45, I end up in conversations with folks who want to feel safe, in a world where too much is changing, and they want to know if I'm safe or if they need to fear I will challenge their foundational ideas. Tolerance lasts until the first threat appears -- maybe I don't agree with their perspective (even if I'm not telling them it is wrong, just that I see things differently) and suddenly I'm a threat.

Society reinforces that, and money can be made by exploiting that. How many trucks do we see each day with decals that put down another brand of truck? So, we like trucks but can't tolerate a difference in brands??!!? And someone is willing to sell us those decals.

I don't think LGBTQ folks are any less affected by this, although I'd hope any of us (almost said "they" - still new at this!) would be insulated somewhat by having to be awake and aware of the benefits of embracing diversity.

"Bisexual" may also be counter cultural. "All of the above" is not the norm, "either/or" is. Heaven forbid that someone could have (one at a time, or at the same time) both a Chevy and a Ford.

Tolerance isn't enough. We've got to embrace and accept difference if we're going to thrive (not just survive). Can't seem to do that if folks are in fear.

 

I've thought about his one a fair amount because it comes up from time to time. I think the tolerance that is expected from the left is very different from the tolerance that is expected from the right and I think it's because of the different ways the right and the left (at least in the States) has expressed intolerance. For me it seems that the tolerance that is expected of the left is nothing short of agreement. The right is tolerant when they don't firebomb you and the left is "intolerant" when they disagree with you, or as comes up on here, won't date you. I'm gay. I'm married to another guy. There are a lot of people out there who think my lifestyle is fundamentally immoral. That's fine. I really think they should get to do that. I think they should get to talk about it. I think they should get to vote that way. I do, however, expect them not to make me uncomfortable at work. I expect them not to be rude in public settings. I expect them to serve me in their restaurants and bakeries. I don't expect them to be my bestest friend or, certainly, to date me--why would they do that? They think I'm immoral--and there's nothing wrong with having deeply held beliefs (to be honest I wish more people had them).

It's interesting to me that the people who say that the LGBT community is intolerant tend to be the people who also say that being LGBT is a small part of who they are. Yet it often seems there is an expectation that in interactions with other LGBT people the common LGBTness is supposed to override every thing else. That I don't understand. If all we have in common is the fact that we like penises well that's not going to go very far--I don't really think there's anything wrong with that.