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Today I lost the dog holding me together

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by TinyWerewolf, Oct 1, 2024.

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  1. TinyWerewolf

    TinyWerewolf
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    He was seven, and my heart is decimated
     
    #1 TinyWerewolf, Oct 1, 2024
  2. Ran

    Ran
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    I'm so sorry for your loss. I know that your dog meant a lot to you. Hugs. I'm sure he's now in a better place and has big paradise fields, where he can run freely at.

    Even though painful, then no life lasts forever and I'm sure he had his best moments of life with you and he loved you uncondidionally for this all. If you wish to chat about it all, then feel free. It can help with grief, when you talk about him.
     
    #2 Ran, Oct 2, 2024
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  3. silverhalo

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    Hey I’m sorry for your loss. I know it seems like you might never get through it but you will in time.
     
    #3 silverhalo, Oct 2, 2024
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  4. chicadeoro

    chicadeoro
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    Oh my God, Jack, I'm so sorry.

    What happened? (If you're able to tell us)

    I'm in transit today, heading back to the UK. Please PM me. In the meantime sending you the biggest hug, my brother.
    (((((((Jack))))))) Thinking of you.

    Your sister,
    Beth xxx
     
    #4 chicadeoro, Oct 2, 2024
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  5. TinyWerewolf

    TinyWerewolf
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    I swear I keep hearing his bark this morning. It all just happened so fast...

    I've been sick since last Friday, and because I'm allergic to almost everything outside I'd been inside a couple days. My parents had been feeding my dog for me. Sunday my mom called my dad (who was sitting about two yards from me) and said the dog wouldn't eat and had hardly gotten up at all today (very unlike him) . I overheard and went outside to check on him, he got up and walked over to me very slowly. I was freaking out after he laid down to let me give him a belly rub- his stomach was hard and distended. I fought with my parents to take him to the only pet er for miles, my mom got the emergency number for our regular vet and called/left him a message- he never said a word back to us.

    Forced to wait by circumstances, we gave him fresh cold water and a tiny bit of honey. We tried to put him in the garage for his safety but he didn't want to go in there at all. I was up until 3am trying not to worry, periodically checking on him. I tried calling five vets, the fifth one finally got us in. They were 45 minutes away. It was a hospital and we had to drop him off- wasn't 30 minutes later they called us saying he needed emergency surgery or to be put down. There was a giant mass on his spleen, taking up his entire abdomen and shoving his other organs forward. Apparently he also had arthritis in his spine and hips, and a gallstone. He'd shown no symptoms except hip stool being a little green, I switched his food thinking it'd help- foolish of me. The doctor gave it a 70% chance it was a malignant cancer and if it was he had two weeks to a month. There was a 25-30% chance to survive the surgery, and it had a two week recovery time. We were told the recovery would be painful and he'd have to sit in a crate all that time (which he would've hated). Money was not a factor to me, even if it would be $4000- I didn't care about that. What made me pick to euthanize was the fact he would suffer, and may not even survive the attempt to save him. So at around 6:30pm we decided on euthanasia, and 6:45 ish he was gone. My heart is broken, and it feels like betrayal- the only thought comforting me is that God is looking after him.
     
    #5 TinyWerewolf, Oct 2, 2024
  6. Ran

    Ran
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    You did your very best and choosing euthanasia was the best choice you could have made, with how many health issues this dog had. It was to save him from all this pain and suffering and he'd thank you for saving him from it all and say to take good care of yourself now, if he could've speak. I'm sure of it. It's okay to grieve and it's okay to feel sad and cry.
     
    #6 Ran, Oct 2, 2024
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  7. chicadeoro

    chicadeoro
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    Absolutely. You did the right thing - even though it is against all our instincts to cling on to life and slight chance that things might improve. Prolonging his pain wouldn't have been right.

    But, I share and feel your pain, Jack. Losing a beloved pet is always difficult, no matter when it happens and especially when you feel you will have years ahead with them. It's the shock and the sudden-ness that is so hard in this situation.

    Cry, grieve and pour your heart out into everything you do. It's ok.

    Sending more hugs your way. Know that I'm thinking of you, my brother.

    Beth xxx
     
    #7 chicadeoro, Oct 2, 2024
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  8. TinyWerewolf

    TinyWerewolf
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    Even though I know it was best given all the info, my stomach turns at what I did to him. I feel physically sick. I cried for like four hours straight the day it happened. Cried more yesterday, crying now.

    It currently feels like this insurrmountable sadness, I've almost whistled for him twice. We buried him in one spot he liked to lay yesterday; my dad and i dug the hole. Mom filled it in. I put his basketball and rope with him. I also put a bandana and the collar I planned to use when we moved away together on him. Made a cross and wreath with branches around the yard, pine and poplar cross and cypress and buckwheat flowers for the wreath.
     
    #8 TinyWerewolf, Oct 3, 2024
  9. silverhalo

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    Sometimes the kindest things to do are the hardest. Don’t beat yourself but do allow yourself to greave.
     
    #9 silverhalo, Oct 3, 2024
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  10. Ran

    Ran
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    You were able to help him and give him a funeral. Try not to be so hard on yourself. Hugs.

    I was never able to give my childhood dog who passed away, when I was a young kid a funeral. My parents problably didn't want to traumatize me with it, but time to time I do think of my dog, even after all this time have passed. Our loved ones never truly die. They will be within us forever.

    My mom still saw one of my other dogs shadow in the room and felt the precence after he died suddenly too. And my sis heard our cats meowing. When the time passes this stops, what don't mean you will forget the beloved pets, but it means just that you can let go and move forward. They will still be with us even after that in our memories.
     
    #10 Ran, Oct 3, 2024
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  11. mnguy

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    I'm really sorry for your loss and I hope with time you will recover, take care!
     
    #11 mnguy, Oct 4, 2024
    Last edited: Oct 4, 2024
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  12. TinyWerewolf

    TinyWerewolf
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    My cousins, aunt, and uncle brought me a stone that says "Dogs leave pawprints on our heart." That was very sweet of them
     
    #12 TinyWerewolf, Oct 4, 2024
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