Recently I've asked my fiends to please either use he or they as pronouns for me. Yet,and maybe they just aren't remembering, they still use she. I don't want to correct them and sound rude.... but it's like a stab in the chest every time she is used to refer to me. Would it be rude of me to, say when we are in a group of people I haven't come out to yet, correct them and simply say "Actually, I'm not a girl. If you could use he or they, that would be nice." I don't want to be rude but at the same time... I'm not a she. :dry:
I know the feeling. i have a female body and, no intention of changing that but, I'd rather people use my name or they instead of she. I do tolerate she when correcting the speaker would cause a scene but otherwise I correct them. I'm okay with "gurl" in context like "You go gurl!" My usual correction is "I really don't like pronouns, can you just use my name?"
Depending on how accepting of a community you live around, I'm always hesitant about telling random people I'm not a girl (when I clearly look like one if that makes any sense) because I don't want to have to deal with their confusion or trying to explain myself. I think you should just try to tell your friends that you know it's hard for them to adjust, and it's okay if they mess up sometimes, but you'd rather them mess up and politely correct themselves the next time rather than just use she. Also, that if he takes some time to get used to then they is just as good- it's just that when you hear she all the time it physically hurts you and makes you really sad and like you don't want to be seen in public if you have to be called she or something... I think if they can learn to be empathetic to that then it will easier for them
I don't have a problem with my friends. Most of them use the correct pronouns the majority of the time. My problem is with strangers, or people who don't know me that well, that use feminine pronouns. I don't know how to correct them. I think of something to say, but then wuss out because I'm afraid I will come across as rude.
