To break up or to not break up? That is the age old question

Hi forumland!

It is good to be back in such a welcoming community. I forgot how nice this place is!

I will preface this question by saying that I realise that if I am asking it, I probably already know the answer, but I have few LGBT mates I can talk to about this.

My girlfriend (32) and I (28) have been together for a year now. I love her, and she's a lovely person, so I want to treat her well as I navigate this. In the year we have been together, we have physically been together for a total of 3 months (thank you, coronavirus). We have always been long-distance, but prior to coronavirus, I was able to get on a 45 minute flight at any time, so it was much easier.

In the last few months, I've started to see some things about her that I don't think allow for us to have long-term compatibility:

1. Lack of emotional maturity and child-like nature
2. Heavily co-dependent on parents and ex-husband
3. Spending a lot of time with ex-husband
4. Sensitive and has a lot of needs that must be fulfilled by a partner
5. Unable to acknowledge my intense work commitments
6. Definitely doesn't want children, and I might

Things about me that are affecting the relationship:

7. My career. My career has always been the most important thing to me, and I've been clear about that. I work between 50-80 hours a week. However, on Friday, I got a call that really changed my views on the relationship. I was offered an amazing work assignment in a new country that entails regular travel to developing countries for weeks at a time (it's an international development org.). I accepted it, and am very excited, but it's even more intense than what I'm doing now, and not in the country she's in. I will have much less free time, which she already finds frustrating. She says she's willing to move in theory, but also doesn't want to learn a new language nor be far from her mother, which I understand. Not fair for me to ask anyway.

8. My anxiety. It's given me anxiety and panic attacks to balance the career and the relationship. It gives me anxiety to maintain this balance. She tells me regularly that I'm all she has, etc., so that even puts more pressure on me when I want to break up.

9. I want to be single. In moving to a new country and a new intensive position, I feel I want to be single for awhile. I also didn't have much time single between this relationship and the last one, and feel I want to explore what I want out of life (for now) on my own. I want to be able to focus on my development for the minute, and I feel unable to support her and what she needs out of a relationship.

I suppose I am seeing the "writing on the wall," as it were, but I suppose my questions are, 1) are these legitimate things to break up over, and 2) how do I go about this in a way that hurts her least?

Thanks for any input x