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Tips for gay stuff?

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by Koethe, May 13, 2017.

  1. Koethe

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    As a bisexual guy, I am sure that in some point of my life I´m going to have a relationship with a guy, and in some point (really far tho) Im going have sex with him.

    The thing is that, I don´t have certain information about it, and I have a lot ot questions.

    I see myself as a bottom, but the ¨normal¨ thing is to do both, right?
    The first time as a bottom hurts? If so, how can you avoid it?
    I have to prepare myself before it?
    Does fingering works like a indicative that I´ll enjoy bottoming?
    There´s a certain way to clean myself to make the thing the less messy possible?

    Thanks for reading, I hope you can help me and if possible, learn new stuff from this post <3
     
  2. Chiroptera

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    There is no "normal". Some people only enjoy bottoming. Some people only enjoy topping. Some enjoy both. Some don't enjoy penetration at all.

    Being bi doesn't mean you need to like both positions.
    It shouldn't. Use plenty of lube, using more when you feel it is needed, and communicate with your partner. Take things slow at first. If you feel it is hurting, stop, apply more lube and relax.

    Also, use condoms, always! Read more here: Empty Closets - Gay Safe Sex
    You have to use lube and a condom. Also, about hygiene, take a look here: Empty Closets - Getting Clean for Anal Sex
    Well, they are two different things. But what you fantasize with while fingering may indicate an interest in the activity. It depends.

    Same link about hygiene, above. :slight_smile:

    Don't hesitate to ask if you have more questions!
     
  3. Lexington

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    * I see myself as a bottom, but the ¨normal¨ thing is to do both, right?

    Some only want top, some only want to bottom, and some want to do both. And quite a few don't want to do either.

    * The first time as a bottom hurts? If so, how can you avoid it?

    The first time has the greatest probability of there being pain, for the same reason the first time riding a bike has the greatest probability of falling down. You're inexperienced, and you're liable to nudge things a bit too far a bit too quickly. In the hands of a caring and experienced top, you shouldn't feel any pain at all. Take as long as you need to open up, and never skimp on the lube.

    * I have to prepare myself before it?

    Ideally, your top will. He'll make out with you, put you at ease, start fingering you slowly with lubed fingers. One, then two, then three. As stated above, take your time - as long as necessary.

    * Does fingering works like a indicative that I´ll enjoy bottoming?

    It's a positive sign, yes.

    * There´s a certain way to clean myself to make the thing the less messy possible?

    The link given above should be all you need.

    In short:

    Caring and hopefully experienced partner. The former is more important than the latter.
    Condoms. Always.
    Lube. Lots of this.
    Time and patience. Lots of this.
    Have fun, damnit.

    Lex
     
    #3 Lexington, May 14, 2017
    Last edited: May 14, 2017
  4. Koethe

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    Well, now that I tried fingering for 3rd time, I can say that I didn´t enjoyed it, I´m way to tight and the sensation isn´t my style.
    Does that mean I´ll better be main top?
    If I didn´t enjoyed fingering, is there any possibility that I´ll like it later? Or with a partner?

    Thanks for the tips and information! <3 <3
     
  5. smurf

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    Naw, fingering can be a good indication of what you might enjoy, but its really not a set-in-stone kind of thing.

    I personally hate fingering, but love bottoming. Fingers just feel weird to me.

    I will say tho that everyone is literally the same "tightness" when it comes to assholes. Its not a rubber band that you are playing with, its a muscle. It contracts and expands to fit what it needs to fit.

    A bit graphic, but think about it. When you go to the bathroom you are probably passing something WAY bigger than your finger mostly without a problem. How come? Well, you were trained from very little how to control your muscles to go to the bathroom.

    Now you apply the same principle, but for bottoming. You just have to get to know your body and learn how to make your muscles relax and open up.
     
  6. amor

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    I think the idea of having to be normal is just in our head. When you find somebody things should just flow. Nobody is normal. There is no definition of normal.. I think when the time comes it will come..