(Man in my 40s, recently came out bi to my straight wife who had no idea. Still exploring what this means and how I/we want to explore it.) I grew up with terrible anxiety and depression, and was a late bloomer socially and romantically because of that and my crippling fear of rejection. Though I felt attractions to both girls and boys, I couldn't bring myself to ask out girls in high school or college, and I didn't dare admit attraction to guys who as far as I knew were straight and might not react well. So I never dated until my mid-20s when I fell into a couple relationships with women and quickly met and fell in love with my wife. (I still love her and want to stay with her, and she's doing her best to stay supportive in my coming out journey as long as I don't move too fast and leave her behind.) So I have a couple thoughts about this. The first is that I feel so inexperienced even though I'm in my 40s -- I've never had same-sex interactions before, though I've had the feelings and fantasies and desires all my life. So I'm sometimes insecure in whether I'm "bi enough", do I really know I want this if it's just been fantasy and I've never done it for real? The feelings have never left me in the ~30 years since hitting puberty, so I feel like they're real, and I feel a great sense of excitement for the future and relief having come out to my wife and opened up about the idea of exploring a little. The other thought is that I'm *so annoyed* with myself about that lack of experience. My problems were so simple. I could have gone to the student health center and asked for therapy and psychiatric meds for my anxiety and depression, and been better able to handle things like I am now. I could have gone to the campus gay/lesbian/bi alliance and talked to actual bi and gay boys as potential partners instead of crushing on straight boys, and maybe I'd have had some experiences when I was young. I don't know if, if I had had those past experiences, whether they would have been enough for me. I might still want to play a bit today even so. But either way I'd know more about myself and it'd be a less scary transition for me and my wife.