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thoughts about going to the nail salon to get fingernails painted as male appearing person

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Partikel, May 15, 2022.

  1. Partikel

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    Hi there.

    So, I consider myself to be a non-binary person, usually appearing to others like a "regular guy". I'm in some ways like a typical geeky and nerdy slightly overweight IT-person, wearing lots of black and nerd-shirts and whatnot, except when I'm on my way to a goth festival in which case things get a little bit more fancy.
    Every now and then I explore various ways of expressing myself and my perceived gender, which is a bit of a challenge because on the one hand I don't like receiving more attention than necessary, while on the other hand I'm at times too stubborn to bow down to societal norms and consider it too important to challenge them to help the society progress.

    Now, my partner loves it when I overcome that part of my character that doesn't like attention and instead do that exploration and challenging thing. So I thought that next time I visit her, I could get my nails painted professionally after leaving the office before jumping into the next high-speed train that takes me to her city. I'm sure she'd love that. And she loves me and does a lot of good things for me, so I'm always looking for ways to make her happier too. And I? Usually I don't wear make-up when I'm running around in the wild, so that could be a useful experience for me. I'd learn more about myself, maybe I'd love it and it becomes a regular thing, maybe I'd hate it and never do it again. Who knows?

    I live in a quite liberal / progressive city in Germany, and after some research I found a nail salon that has an "lgbt+ friendly" tag in its Google Maps description, got good reviews, and mentions also offering more privacy if you have an appointment compared to most other nail salons.
    I'm not sure what color would work for me in regards to nail polish, so I'd just ask the employee for advice and hope that they'd have any.

    Some positive thoughts of mine:
    - Making new experiences is important.
    - It would make my partner happy and maybe me too.
    - The more people challenge such societal norms, the better for the society in general and everybody who is a part of it.

    Some negative thoughts:
    - While the city I live in has a million inhabitants or so, I could meet friends and coworkers (closer friends would enjoy seeing me with painted nails, while coworkers... the company I work for pretends to be super open minded, but of course everybody working there has different opinions on what that means).
    - I could receive negative reactions in the train or on the way there (very unlikely).
    - The shop could just have added that "lgbt+ friendly" tag to their shop description as virtue signalling, while actually preferring to avoid such situations, and having no experience and no advice or might even be unfriendly.

    I'm clearly overthinking this, but I tend to do that when I'm facing new situations.

    Thanks for any shared experiences, advice or thoughts.
     
  2. chicodeoro

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    Do it!

    But...if you are unsure about wearing nail varnish at work, make sure you purchase some remover beforehand.

    I still present as male quite often with coloured nails and, other than compliments from cis women, most people don't mention it.

    Beth
     
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  3. Partikel

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    Thanks for the encouragement. :slight_smile: Called the salon, they seemed friendly and positive. Got there now an appointment after office work and before I got to jump into the next train. I'm curious on what the expert suggests regarding polish colors and such, whether I'll get any comments from random people in the train (probably not), and how my partner will react (I'm expecting a delightful squeal and a hug), and how I'll feel about it all in the end.
     
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  4. TinyWerewolf

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    Let us know how it turns out! I'm excited for you!
     
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  5. bsg75apollo

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    Not quite the same, but in the early days of the pandemic when everything was closed, I painted my nails black. A little too dark for my skin tone, but it was fun.
     
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  6. PrettyBoyBlue

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    I don't have any advice; I just wanted to say I love your outlook on things!!! :heart_eyes: That is really quite thoughtful all around. Please tell us how it goes!
     
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  7. Robyn mac

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    I go sometimes get my fingernails in clear and get my toes in different colors
     
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  8. Partikel

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    So I went to that nail salon last Friday. Before that... well, do you know those optical illusion drawings, where you can either see two faces looking at each other or a vase, or you can either see an old woman or a young one? It was a bit like that. Sometimes I thought "so you're getting a manicure and your nails painted, nothing special, many people are doing that these days, and quite a number of male-appearing well known people in Germany also run around with painted nails". At other times I thought "that's silly, only because you can do something you don't have to, and you don't like too much attention anyway, let others be the spearhead of progress". But I already had that appointment, and when I've set my mind on something then I usually pull through.

    I was greeted warmly and I didn't mind them not having their studio with a huge street facing window. There was one other person getting their nails done in the room I was lead to. The lady who greeted me offered me a palette of colours to choose from, but the colours I had in mind were not available (I had thought of a dark blue). She said that they have those as well, but that those would take a longer time to dry, while I had only an hour before I'd have to leave for the train station.

    The staff I had seen so far were of the appearance I expected in such a studio, pastel colours and slightly conservative looking. But the woman entering, who'd do my nails, had colourful hair and tattoos and was wearing black, and reacted with a delighted "ooh" when seeing me as her next client. She was a very charming and friendly young Ukrainian women, who had recently fled here to Germany because of the war. She was still learning English and German, but we could communicate well enough. She suggested some more colours and then set to work. Once done, because the nails were not yet completely dry, she helped me put on my backpack and shoulder bag.

    Leaving the salon and walking through the train station I was on the one hand at first a bit self-conscious, but that dissipated I noticed how nobody really cared about my nails. The train station and train were packed with people, due to the chaos created by severe thunderstorms that day. Sometimes in the train somebody walking by shot a quick glance at the nails, but else nobody didn't seem to notice. My girlfriend, who I have a relationship with now for a bit more than a year, picked me up from the train station, was quite excited and happy about all those. And since the nails are holding up quite well, I also kept them painted when I went with my partner to a barbecue with a couple she is close friends with (plus their children) and another close friend. I wondered for a bit whether I should remove the nail polish, but then thought that I'd probably spend more time with those people in future, so it seemed wise to show them now rather than later that I'm not a fan of traditional gender roles and cliches.

    So, in general it was a positive experience. I don't think that visiting nail salons will become a part of any regular schedule of mine, but every now and then it might be a nice treat.

    [​IMG]
     
  9. Partikel

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    Couldn't find an edit button. So here is what that nice person achieved in an hour (a day later).
     

    Attached Files:

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  10. Rayland

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    I'm glad you had such a positive experience. I loved reading about it. Your nails look great.
     
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  11. Robyn mac

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    See what a great job she did. Nice hand btw
     
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  12. PrettyBoyBlue

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    THAT is a really nice color! Well done, thanks for the update. And thank you for "spearheading progress" for some of us who aren't quite there yet!!
     
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  13. QueerDylan

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    This is all great to read! I'm really interested in doing more nail colors too but haven't been comfortable yet with showing it to people who know me as male. Maybe someday soon, inspiring to see others getting there.