I came out as bi about a year and a half ago. However during this time I've said that i prefer girls but i still like guys. I've had crushes on girls but not guys. And I've kissed girls who I wasn't even that into and I loved it. But tonight I went clubbing and my friend's friend (male) was dancing with me, which eventually lead to him kissing me. I pulled away because I didn't like it but then i thought i should give it another go, so we kissed again. But the whole time I was kissing him i was just thinking about how i wished it was a girl that I was kissing. I just hated kissing a guy's lips idk. I honestly felt sick afterwards. And it's not like there's something wrong with him, he seems like a nice guy, he's attractive and we had a lot of fun dancing together. Does this mean I'm gay? I can find guys attractive but honestly hate the thought of kissing a guy again, let alone doing anything more. Any advice would be greatly appreciated
I'm the same as you and I am always a bit torn as I know I can feel attraction towards men and that my attraction is real, yet the second a guy I am attracted to kiss me, all attraction is gone and the thought of doing more quickly makes me gag. The thought of actually kissing, let alone doing more, with a guy currently isn't appealing at all to me and actually quite the opposite, which often makes me think that I must be gay even though I also can't deny the fact that I do feel attraction towards men (so using the "lesbian label" still feels wrong to me) . I guess I am still accepting the fact that I am still likely bi with a strong preference for women and that while I am bi and can't turn off my attraction for men it doesn't mean that I have to do anything about it or do anything with a guy ever again if I do not want to. If the "bisexual" label still feel more right to you than calling yourself gay/lesbian, then I would advise you to do like me, just tell people you prefer women, no need to say you are bi, it isn't a lie and in my case, suits how I feel perfectly.
