This world lacks manners and sophistication

Well, anything is possible - but I really, really, really doubt the person wearing pajamas at Walmart has class. Maybe they just would fit the bill of a good person....

But hey, if you know how to make duck pajamas look classy, go for it!

---------- Post added 25th May 2013 at 08:54 PM ----------

Well, from your threads, you obviously have lived a very privileged life. Do you know what it's like to have no money? No, and that's a touchy subject for people.

However, I've learned that we need to try our best to not try to size up our problems.

This thread is definitely running the possibility of becoming a measuring contest.

 

See, but now you are saying that class is a "look" which would imply that it is physical appearance and not the innate characteristics...so which is it?

And that would also be judging a person on your own assumptions and generalizations, which we all know is a bad thing to do.

 

A person is the same inside whether they're wearing a designer suit, jeans and a T-shirt, or PJs. I think what makes someone a worthwhile person is the way they treat people. Shabby dressers have no more trouble treating people nicely than do people in designer suits. And when that man in a designer suit changes into his PJs, does he change as a person at all?

 

What constitutes class is subjective.

You might think your $5 shirt looks great, while the people passing you on the street are thinking "How could he go out like that, nobody would ever dress like that back in the days when people had class".

This isn't about any particular practice like putting elbows on tables or chewing food with your mouth open or wearing pajamas to the store...this is about whether you or anyone has the right to pass judgment on the way others choose to live their lives. Judging people for things they do that have no impact on your own life....

 

I'm going to do my best to stand up for myself (opinions, I mean.)

I'll be honest - I do judge people if they look really terrible. Now, I know they might be very poor and can't do anything else. I work in a free clinic - I get it. I just have this way of knowing when some People just don't care...I don't really sit and wait for people to walk by and say "my god....."

Also, I am pretty sure some of you are judging me on my beliefs right now, or you probably wouldn't try to say anything. I'm going to be totally honest - this is where I judge people the most - class, attitudes, lifestyle choices (say, not going to the doctor.) we all have something. The minute we stop trying to act like the perfect police, we might get somewhere. I'll add - this is not meant to be an attack, I just want to get out what I'm thinking.

 

That depends on your definition of nice, but regardless, I disagree. Saying that someone needs nice clothes to respect themselves suggests they are obsessed with their appearance and incredibly shallow. It would be more respectful to themselves to recognise that there are more important things, such as what type of person they are, whether they are compassionate and kind, whether they treat others well.

 

I wasn't judging your for your beliefs. While I may not share them, I feel that you are free to have them. My posts were meant to point out the fallacy I saw in your posts on what constitutes "class." Yes, everyone judges other people at some point in time. However, realizing what you are doing and thinking about whether you have the right to judge these people when you have no idea what their lives are truly like are the first steps in my opinion to being kind and respectful (two of your own innate characteristics of what makes up class).

I was not trying to be the "perfect police" in my posts, I was merely pointing out discrepancies I saw and sharing my own view point and I apologize if you felt like I was attacking you in some way, shape or form.

 

I appreciate you saying this. I just believe that sometimes, we tend to try too hard to act like we never do anything wrong. I'm sorry that you came into the line of fire of a little rant I had...and some pent up problems with certain comments on here.

I see that I did make some odd statements....but that's me - oops!

I was going to say, later, that it's really something you learn or grow up with. I view class differently than you or a lot of other people. Glad we can have this talk.

Thanks.

 

Absolutely.

This thread has been pretty interesting, so I'm going to throw in my own simple opinion. EVERYONE HAS A DIFFERENT OPINIONS GUYS, so there won't be a resolution to this. Usually, opinions can easily get misinterpreted, especially online. And what some people may believe may be because they are in a completely different situation than the other person (as in rich vs. "poor"). I think Alex had an innocent idea going on, but he forgot that others might not have the privilege to even consider being "classy". And don't forget, what someone may think to be classy, someone else may think it's crap. I do understand the whole being with your family thing, but a lot of families have underlying tension when at the table, so..

I'm glad this debate went on, it was pretty insightful, but it's getting kind of ridiculous.

 

A very interesting thread indeed and I see where you are coming from Alexander and also agree with many other comments as well.
I think technology nowadays has a huge influence on how people interact with each other. I can't tell you how many times I felt like grabbing the iphone or mobile out of a persons hand and smashing it! :bang: I wouldn't really do that of course! :dry:
In social situations I think it's very rude and your lucky if you can ever get a decent conversation out of anyone. Our generation seem to be the worse 18-30 yr olds we all seem to get very caught up in our lives and what we are doing and feeling thatwe tend to forget about others. I'm not saying we are all like that but many young people are like that where I live.
I do believe people should be free to choose whatever you want to wear but clothes that suit your body shape. I'm sorry but young overweight girls wearing tight jeans and mid drifts just ain't a good look at all! :eek: That's a very common attire at the mall! :icon_wink

 

I think you bring up a really good point. Technology has really created a beast, even if it is wonderful. We are so free online, yet in person, not so much. I worry it's causing a lot of harm.

Say we were all in a room together - I doubt stuff would be said the way it is on here. I'm not necessarily saying we are rude - we are just more able to be vocal here, yet we don't see the persons reactions. This is one of the best sites I've been on, but we all are very opinionated....it changes in person.

Just some food for thought...l

 

It certainly is food for thought photoguy! It's interesting you bring up about discussions people have on the internet that they wouldn't have in real life. It got me thinking that I have learnt much more about people and how their minds tick by researching and reading discussions about people's personal lives such as these forums. Never by meeting people in my social or working life would I have known how complex we really are as human beings. I guess you could count the internet as a plus in that regard. It can give ourselves a better understanding of each other.

 

Brother, I thought you liked Jersey Shore. Which lacks manners and sophistication.

I agree that the world we live in is broken, and needs to be fixed by people going down a more chivalrous path, but I don't think going backwards in time is the right answer.

 

Okay, I get where you are coming from Alexander. I do not agree though. I HATE A SUIT! It is uncomfortable, expensive and very unpractical (my opinion). I like my t-shirts, jeans and sneakers. But I still think I have decent manners. I think some of what we call good etiquette is ridiculous. For example, I don't see why putting your elbows on the table is such a big issue. It is comfortable and I honestly don't see how it is rude. But eating with your mouth open I understand. No one wants to see how you process your food.

There is another thing that bothered me a lot and I see and experience it often. People go to countries (or even communities) and look down on the ways people dress, what they eat and how they act. You do not know how others think. You do not know their cultures. You do not know what their circumstances are. What you consider class is not necessarily the same for everyone. In South Africa there are people who eat with their hands or prefer eating with a spoon, instead of a knife or fork. There are people who believe that it is good manners to allow a lady to walk through a door first. But there are also people who believe that the man should walk first. This is all part of their cultures. And unfortunately finances do play a major role in this debate. Approximately half of the people in South Africa live below the poverty line (which was around $2 a day in 2008, not sure what it is now). Things such as class and decent clothes are the last of their concerns.

So I actually want the opposite. Less focus on the way you dress and your manners. And more focus on diversity and being caring and respecting human-beings

(Sorry if there are any spelling errors or mistakes, I'm not English)

 

I think that manners and decorum are a must, regardless of who you are. There's never any excuse for rudeness. It's something I've struggled with here in Spain actually. I would dare to say that manners practically don't exist here, my housemate has often criticised me for saying "please", "thank you" and "sorry" so much.

However, dressing fancy and eating off of fine china really is unnecessary in my opinion. If people want to do that, fine. I think people should do whatever they feel most comfortable with. Whether that's eating caviar in a tux at an antique dining table, or standing naked at the kitchen sink eating from a pot, so be it.

 

Well if you think about how the upper class treated the working class in the 19th century...

People have always been generally rude and disrespectful. Whatever sophistication there may have been it was probably quite shallow and had more to do with status rather than actual compassion.

I really do wish people focused more on clothing but that's just how I see it. Harmonious colours, good fit, simple. I don't tend to form impressions of people, but good clothes are aesthetically pleasing and it shows one has either a very good taste or a very good stylist.

 

No. The more manners necessary, the more menial life gets. So many unnecessary hoops to jump through.